neocons gone wild!

just meat

While shopping for orbed shaped glass for orgonite, we ran into the guy who delivers helium to the dollar store. He was a pretty lively guy who liked to talk and told us of some of the gases on his truck, some of which are going to the meat processing plant in Humbolt. He said he had some pretty dangerous gases, one of which is carbon monoxide. Realizing carbon monoxide is that nasty gas that kills you if you run your car in a closed garage, I asked what in the world anyone would use it for. He said it's used to inject meat to keep it looking red and fresh. All the meat you see in Wal-Mart is injected with carbon monoxide to keep it looking fresh and alive.
I suppose you can paint a corpse with flesh colored paint but it won't make it any healthier.

I made up my mind right then and there to never buy meat at Wal-Mart. There are better places to go besides the big box meat markets that don't poison their food... for now.

anti-scientology stuff

I don't know about you but these scientologists just give me the creeps.

HAIL XENU!

Rev. T's Church of Global Warming/Climate Change

I was talking to God the other day, and he told me what this planet needs is a new religion ... a religion based on zero carbon.
I said, "But God, we need carbon."

"No my son, carbon is the enemy, as everyone knows.'

"You're right, God. I forgot. What should I do?"

"Well, I got Al Gore busy with all the scientists around the globe, already. What I need is a spiritual man ... someone who would go out there and help humanity offset their carbon footprints."

"And how am I going to do that, God?"

"My son, you thought Moses had it bad, walking around the wilderness with all those Jews for 40 years. I'm afraid your task will be many times harder."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. I want you to stop using water, electricity, fuel of any kind, and consumption of animal products."

"You're joking, right?"

"I never joke. Just stop bathing, wear sackcloth and ashes, and travel the land preaching the message of a carbon-free world. Talk to people. Show them the errors of their ways. Show them how the illusionary human invention of currency can work to their advantage through you.

"Work out a plan, and I will help you succeed."

************************************************************************************

So ended my conversation with The Great Almighty. For 6 days and 6 nights, I pondered the significance of this dialogue and came up with a plan.

What's the plan, you might ask?

Simply this ... My lifestyle can be traded by you for carbon neutrality.

How does this work? I shall suffer for you. Every aspect of my life will be in carbon deficit so that you can achieve the transition into carbon neutrality painlessly. Here is how my lifestyle will proceed from now on:

* Water -- None. I will keep water use to an absolute minimum. I will only drink enough to keep myself hydrated, and that is only if it rains, and bathing will be avoided at all costs. This means I will completely cut off the water supply to my residence.

* Electricity -- None. Regarding my small electrical needs, I have agreed to give sanctuary to one of our Mexican novice friars in exchange for cheerfully pedaling our bicycle generator which we have rescued from the nearby river, thus bringing full circle the holy vision of non-invasion of our environment.

* Food -- None. I shall eat only dirt, because that's the only substance that can be consumed that will have no impact on the Earth.

* Sanitation -- None. (I don't eat or drink, remember?)

* Transportation -- I shall walk, wearing my hand-made grass sandals, everywhere I need to go, however far that may be.

**************************

As you can see, I live so carbon-free that I'm in negative numbers.

So what does that mean for YOU? I'll tell you what it means! You, too, can live carbon free without suffering... because I shall do the suffering for you.

How will this work? For a paltry sum, I will earn you carbon credits. You can continue your lifestyle without guilt, knowing you have helped the mission of carbon neutrality through me. Each dollar insures you have earned your place as an environmental warrior. By joining the church of the GW/CC you will help make a better world for all of our children. Isn't that worth a few dollars?

Join us now, and be a pioneer in saving the planet!

One carbon credit is worth $10, based on actual human consumption. This can be applied to the range of services humans require, i.e. sanitation, transportation, etc. For example, 5 carbon credits in donation to the mission equates to the average monthly water and sewage bill. Therefore, you are achieving carbon neutrality in sanitation, significantly reducing your carbon footprint for a month.
In short, MY pain is YOUR gain.

**********************************************************************************

Friends, this is a holy mission. Please join me in this great cause.


Write for more details. lofas@karmasurfer.com

Donations of a sexual nature earn additional carbon credits. Direct all correspondence to the attention of Sister Carbonelle.

God will like you for it.

my new toy

I just got my new Eee pc and thought it fitting I post a blog on it as its first function.
Here's a picture of it sitting next to a whiskey glass and a tiny bottle of Jameson to show its relative size. Don't let its size fool you. It's a real powerhouse of a comp. 4 gig HD, 512 meg RAM, and on a Linux system I don't have to jump through hoops getting the cam to operate. So far it works just as well as my desktop with almost 2 gigs RAM and it pulls a signal from almost anywhere. So far, the only problem I have with it is my fat human fingers can't always cleanly hit the keys, and I tend to hit enter whenever I hit the apostrophe... But I can get over that. Besides, it looks like it has a voice recognition program installed.

Hell, I'll be blogging on my way to work in no time, if that's indeed what it is.

all I can say is bring it on, baby!

What kind of gutless parasites did we elect for Congress? It's as if the Bush administration is so impeachable they're unimpeachable, and the only reason Congress won't start impeachment proceedings is because they're afraid Bush will bomb Iran, institute martial law, stop the elections, and round up all the dissidents (you and me and two thirds of the country) to FEMA concentration camps. I suppose this bunch could do it, but we can only blame Congress for allowing the executive branch, specifically the president, to have so much power that he can actually declare himself dictator of North Amerika.

Apparently, Congress is either stupid or in with these fascists, because there are some serious holes in this scenario.
For starters, no one has ever won a war by simply bombing the enemy. It takes boots on the ground, and Amerika doesn't have any more troops to send to another endless war. Bush will make a giant fool of himself if he gives the order to bomb Iran and no one is willing to go there to fight. Soldiers are thinking human beings, and many of them believe their commander in chief is a total, freakin', fascist retard. Iraq not only has the bulk of our fighting forces, but our reserves AND National Guard. Who will the White House send to gather up the 200 million dissidents -- out of a population of nearly 300 million, of which 66 percent think he's an asshole -- who will be screaming bloody murder for GW's head on a pike?

It's gotten to the point where all it'll take is a match to the very dry tinder. They can't pull off another 9/11 again. How stupid do you have to be not to see that you're teetering on the brink? They try to keep us off balance by insinuating that all it'll take is one "terrorist" attack to justify instituting martial law. We're too awake for that.

Here's the breakdown. We have about 2 to 3 thousand troops per state who aren't overseas. Multiply that by 50, and you have about 125,000 fighting troops in this country trying to maintain order, if martial law is enacted, for at least 200 million people (and that's a very conservative estimate) who will refuse to kowtow to any martial law bullshit. That means you can count on 1 soldier to manage 1600 people, who by this time are pretty pissed off at the powers that be for being such fuckups. It'll be like herding cats. Better yet, the majority of those soldiers will honor the oath they took to uphold the Constitution and join the masses they were ordered to suppress.

The end result will be George Bush, Dick Cheney, and the rest of their festering ilk being dragged out of their bomb shelters by the people they tried to fuck over for the last time and tossed to the mob.
Now, is THIS a better scenario than impeachment?

Doesn't anyone see the parallels between Louis XVI and George W. Bush? Doesn't anyone read anymore? Whatever happened to the classical education and why? The bottom line is, they don't WANT you to know that you could --- and should --- slaughter your asshole despot for ruining people's lives for no other reason than to enrich themselves.

But surely, Congress must know this -- or are they just plain stupid?

Is cinema the new metaphor?

American Heritage Dictionary sites metaphor as:

1. A figure of speech in which a word or phrase that ordinarily designates one thing is used to designate another, thus making an implicit comparison, as in "a sea of troubles" or "All the world's a stage" (Shakespeare).
2. One thing conceived as representing another; a symbol: "Hollywood has always been an irresistible, prefabricated metaphor for the crass, the materialistic, the shallow, and the craven" (Neal Gabler).

If Hollywood has been chosen as a prefabricated metaphor for the crass, the materialistic, the shallow, and the craven, why can't it be chosen as a metaphor of life, since life is crass, materialistic, shallow, and craven?
In Hollywood we have an onslaught of ideas and integrities woven into a tapestry of life thinking in the now. Creations like Vincent Gallo's "Buffalo 66", Mike Hodges "Croupier" or the Bible are nothing short of the classic struggle of mans eternal quest for understanding in an ignorant universe.

Since the U.S. government, in their infinite wisdom, decided to eliminate the classics in our educational system, all we have to teach us the art of critical thinking is cinema and books. Since no one reads books anymore and TV has been taken over as the new brainwashing medium, we're left with movies as our social educators, which means we are being trained in critical thinking by crass, materialistic, shallow and craven assholes from the land of fruits and nuts... California.
Yes, that spiritual place where a lemon slice is in every glass of water to hide the particles in suspension, where no one smokes and people order yolk-free omelets in upscale restaurants. A place where city crime and pollution outrank reason.

And Hollywood sets the tone for humanity with their metaphor of cinema.

Crazy world, aint it?

I am a Scientologist

Opal, you hot little bitch

gas for a buck and a half

It seems we have enough oil in Alaska to supply the U.S. with all it's petroleum needs for about $1.50 a gallon for at least 200 years. The largest mother lode of crude on the planet... and we'll never tap into it. The reasoning is if we dump cheap oil on the market the whole U.S. economy will die from 75 years of unbridled debt that the Saudis have agreed to burden so long as we buy all our oil from them.

So, where does all this debt come from? How about borrowing all our currency from The Federal Reserve, which we have to pay back plus interest, that the fed prints out of thin air knowing from the start that paying off this debt is mathematically impossible, among other stupid ideas that are just now coming to a head like a festering boil on the face of a much loved friend? Oil has been the world currency since the early 60's and its artificial balance of supply and demand keeps the wheels of commerce greased just enough to make us all paycheck slaves forever.

Some facts:
Washington bureaucrats won't give up the Fed. Gas prices will keep going up. Food prices will keep going up. Wages will remain stagnant. Unemployment will rise. Stocks will go down. Consumer spending will drop. More foreclosures next year than last. Iran promises to dump cheap oil on the market backed by the euro and there aint enough American soldiers willing to invade Iran to stop them.

I wonder what would happen if the economy collapsed because enough cheap oil was injected on the market to bring the gas price to around $1.50 a gallon? Whatever scenario you can imagine, it would be far worse for the power brokers and money changers than for the bottom feeders in our great society. The guys at the top of the food chain would eventually fall back to isolated estates protected by private armies while the unwashed masses revert to either serfs at the feet of their lords and masters or wake up from their collective comas and exact some payback on these bastards that fucked everything up so bad with a little proletariat justice with some guts behind it.

We're teetering on the brink of economic disaster and all I can think is BRING IT ON BABY!
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=3340274697167011147

sex pistols