obama jokes

The liberals are asking us to give Obama more time. We agree . . . and think 25 to life would be appropriate. Leno 

America needs Obama-Care like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask. Leno      

Q: Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal?

 A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it. Conan O'Brien

    

Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?     

A: A fund raiser. Leno

     

Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?     

A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers and threats to society. The other is for housing prisoners. Letterman

    

Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it started to sink, who would be saved?     

A:   America !  Fallon 

     

Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?   

A: Bo has papers. Kimmel 

     

Q: What was the most positive result of the "Cash for clunkers" program?     

A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road. Letterman

lies

"I think we are living in a world of lies: lies that don't even know they are lies, because they are the children and grandchildren of lies." ~ Chris Floyd

big balls trail bike ride

harry t

Harry Truman was a different kind of President.  He probably made as many, or more important decisions regarding our nation's history as any of the other 32 Presidents preceding him. However, a measure of his greatness may rest on what he did after he left the White House.

The only asset he had when he died was the house he lived in, which was in Independence, Missouri. His wife had inherited the house from her mother and father and other than their years in the White House, they lived their entire lives there.
When he retired from office in 1952, his income was a U.S. Army pension reported to have been $13,507.72 a year. Congress, noting that he was paying for his stamps and personally licking them, granted him an 'allowance' and, later, a retroactive pension of $25,000 per year.

After President Eisenhower was inaugurated, Harry and Bess drove home to Missouri by themselves. There was no Secret Service following them.
When offered corporate positions at large salaries, he declined, stating, "You don't want me. You want the office of the President, and that doesn't belong to me. It belongs to the American people and it's not for sale."
Good old Harry Truman was correct when he observed, "My choices in life were either to be a piano player in a whore house or a politician. And to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference!
I say dig him up and clone him!

happiness

"If you observe a really happy man, you will find him building a boat, writing a symphony, educating his son, growing double dahlias or looking for dinosaur eggs in the Gobi Desert.  He will not be searching for happiness as if it were a collar button that had rolled under the radiator, striving for it as a goal in itself.  He will have become aware that he is happy in the course of living life twenty-four crowded hours of each day."

-W. Beran Wolfe

Greetings from Ontario

It's the little things that make the difference between the two cultures.
In the United States, we have rum and Dominican cigars.
In Canada, they have Cuban rum and Cuban cigars.
This difference is as black and white as it comes.
The United States is 90 miles from Cuba and we don't have any dealings with them what so ever.
The rest of the world, therefore, has dealings with Cuba.
What pisses me off more than anything, is that I can go anywhere in the world and get something that I can't get 90 miles from my own border, because of some stupid horseshit that happened in the early sixties.

I've just had the opportunity to drink the finest rum in the world and smoke the finest cigar in the world with the finest babe in the world, and it pisses me off that nobody else can have such a luxury because they have to take their shoes off to prove that they're not Al Qaida ( I don't believe Al Qaida exists...don't care if I've spelled it right... it's just a madeup piece of bullshit by the powers that be to create the boogeyman that the homeland security uses to force everybody to tow the line for Big Brother )

All I can say is that Cuban rum is the "tits", baby... in fact it's somewhere around a 38D ... which just happens to be the hooter size of the babe that I just spent 5 days with ! Said babe feels it's her duty and honour to provide me with the finest Cuban rum and Cuban cigars that an Ami could possibly imagine !
One could also point out that Canadian beer is far superior than anything that Anhauser-Busch could ever conceive.

I plan on staying here for the rest of my life !

Close friends and relatives are welcome to visit...
Call first !