let's go shopping

If anyone believes the web bot project prediction that October 25th will be the beginning of the end of the American economic system, you have only two days left to buy stuff before your money becomes worthless.
Damn! Only two days to spend every dime in my bank accounts.

I've been thinking about what to buy that would make the best investment in a world where money is worthless. Mutual funds, IRA's, and T-bills don't seem like a very smart investment, no matter how much The Fed claims the recession is over.
It's got to be something that has enough intrinsic value that would allow it to become currency itself. It's got to be portable, fairly scarce, and something everyone either wants or knows others who want it. I came up with a list of things that may increase in intrinsic value and could be used as barter if our present currency becomes worthless.

1. Tobacco. Whether you smoke or not, tobacco is going to be the hottest commodity in the post-economic apocalypse. Every backpack, duffel, and cargo pocket can carry an amount of tobacco suitable enough to trade for a case of beans, gallon of gas, or to bribe an official.

2. Whiskey. Aside from being the hit of any party, whiskey is good as a coolant, antiseptic, and pain reliever. It also has an indefinite shelf life, which makes it not only an excellent survival tool but it's true worth as a bartering medium puts this item at the top of the list. Other items worth hording might be vodka, gin, and my favorite, rum.

3. Drugs. There are three basic drug categories. Prescription, over-the-counter, and street.

3(a) Prescription drugs include antibiotics, pain pills, tranquilizers, antidepressants, downers, etc. In the post-economic apocalypse, prescription drugs will have very little value due to the huge stockpile big pharma has been producing for decades and will most likely be passed out like beads at a Marti Gras. Keep some quantities of Cipro and class A drugs for yourself but don't count on any of this stuff maintaining any value.

3(b) Over-the counter drugs include aspirin, nsaids, vitamins, antacids, antihistamines, analgesics, and tons of other stuff not worth bothering with. Long before the dust settles, the over-the-counter stuff will be pushed over to get to the real goodies in the back of the drug store. Keep a healthy supply of potassium iodide for yourself and loved ones in case there's a nuclear exchange.

3(c) Street drugs include all those natural, time-tested remedies that are deemed "illicit" by the powers that be for their ability to get you high without making mega profits for big pharma. Cocaine, amphetamines, hash, pot, grass, weed, marijuana, heroin, opium, and any other substance that is tax free, gets you high, and makes profits for anyone other than big pharma could be considered street drugs and are worth their weight in gold as a bartering instrument. In the post-economic apocalypse, it's the street drugs that will be sought after more than any other pharmaceutical. It's scarcity will only increase its value and anyone who really wants this stuff will gladly pay whatever price you dictate.

4. Guns and ammo. Not really a barter instrument but guns can get you more than all other forms of barter combined, provided the person you're trading with isn't armed as well. But if you want to unload that .357 for a bag of street drugs, be sure you don't include the ammo. Besides, in the post-economic apocalypse, those high powered handguns without ammo will become as worthless as Hummers without gas. Better get a .22. The ammo is cheap and plentiful.

5. Food. By far the purest form of barter is sustenance. A can of pork and beans could not only get you some kick ass drugs but maybe a few drinks. When money is worthless you could burn hundred dollar bills just to heat up your creamed corn. Look for foods with a long shelf life and high nutritional value like sardines or kippered herring and stock up on chocolate bars and dried fruit, in case you want to barter for the charms of some female companionship.

Just as you would keep your valuables in a safe or a bank, you might consider a hide out as one of the last big-ticket items you buy before your cash becomes completely worthless. If you can afford one of those self-contained motor homes, now is the time to do it. If not, find an old bus and convert it to a home on wheels with storage space for all the items you feel are necessary to maintain your well being, and park it off the beaten path. Camouflage netting is crucial. You don't want your hideaway to look like a big yellow target. While your out buying stuff, get a generator, water purification system, propane or kerosene heaters, and lots of containers to store water and food. Don't forget your laptop with satellite uplink and a good shortwave radio.

And remember, It's better to have drugs and no money than money and no drugs.