what would tyler do?

Years ago, I was talking to a workmate about movies.  He was more than just a guy I worked with.   He was an Irish version of me... a volume of useless information and trivia with a healthy dose of defiance.  He was the one who suggested I watch Fight Club, based on the book by the same name written by a guy named Chuck Palahniuk.  He said it changed his world view.  When it came out I thought it was nothing more than a pugilistic, angst-ridden, violence fest.   Little did I know it was exactly what my soul needed.
I read the book after I saw the movie and was amazed how the dialog translated from book to screen so well.  Chuck Palahniuk was the movie consultant which made the movie more of a director/author collaboration.   The biggest change was the ending where the bombs went off dropping all those buildings that contained everyone's credit information.  Chuck had final say but admitted Fincher's ending was much better than his and, thank god, they kept it as the grand finale.  The lovers holding hands, watching the destruction of society's financial institutions followed by a single frame of a big cock was uplifting, to say the least.

The book went into more depth but that's the literary trade off when you translate the written word to a two hour photo play and I can accept that from a director who's focus is on box office sales.  The message got through, propelling everyone involved to cult status and adjusted the minds of the masses just enough to embrace defiance and controlled anger against authority as an acceptable weapon in the revolutionary arsenal.  The book stimulated the movie but it was the movie that moved the masses.   On it's own, the book would've had little more circulation than literary circles and a few revolutionary readers.  Sad to say, most people regard book print as dead and get their info from mediums that don't require reading.  This is one of those movies that got people to learn how to read again.  They say reading and the moveable press was one thing responsible for success of the French revolution.   Looks like it's making a come back.



Narrator: He was *the* guerilla terrorist in the food service industry.
[the Narrator looks at Tyler, who's urinating in a pot]
Tyler Durden: Do not watch. I cannot go when you watch.
Narrator: Apart from seasoning the lobster bisque, he farted on the meringue, sneezed on braised endive, and as for the cream of mushroom soup, well...
Tyler Durden: [snickers] Go ahead. Tell 'em.
Narrator: ...you get the idea.

I wonder if Margret Thatcher got sick after discovering she ate waiter cum five times at her favorite restaurant.  I wonder if Brad Pitt had dinner at the same place.  I'll bet he has.  What a total, personal invasion!   What a revolting thing to do to the upper classes who dine in 5 star restaurants, never really knowing what the unknown, faceless people behind closed doors are doing with their food... until now. 

Did you ever see Super Troopers?  If you didn't, you need to, if not for any other reason but the fast food scene.  
Two cops walk into a fast food joint.
"I'll have a double cheese whammy burger with a liter of cola."  The kid at the counter talks into the mic... "A double cheese whammy burger.  It's for a cop."  Even this dense cop knew they were going to spit in his burger but was helpless to do anything about it but get in trouble with his superiors for trashing the restaurant.  At the end of the scene he ate his burger and said, "fuck it."

I, for one, refuse to send anything back to the kitchen at any restaurant.  Rule # 1 for living a relatively sane life... Don't piss off the people who make your food.  I personally saw my friend, a chef at the time, wipe a toilet rim with a steak before cooking it for an asshole he didn't care for.  After that I cooked my own steak or went to steak houses that had an open grill.

"We cook your meals, we haul your trash, we connect your calls, we drive your ambulances. We guard you while you sleep. Do not... fuck with us."
Tyler Durden

Oh man! No wonder the people in charge are installing cams everywhere and recording everything we do.   It's not to catch terrorists or would be criminals or bail jumpers.   It's to make sure no one pees in their food and laughs at them from behind kitchen doors.  How else can you explain how Ed Snowden, NSA contractor and dissident, managed to leave the country with tons of secret documents, totally undetected until he spilled the beans on a TV interview from Hong Kong.  That's right, they were watching the White House kitchen staff for unauthorized urination.

I think I'm on to something here.  If all this data collection was to catch criminals, how come they never seem to catch anybody?  Why didn't they use this info to catch the underwear bomber, the Boston bombers, or the Aurora shooters? Because they were more interested in eating clean food rather than catching someone shooting up the unwashed masses.  The Aurora movie theater had cams all over the place, just like everywhere else.  That info was never released but a pic of a guy standing in a tray full of lettuce at a fast food joint got someone's attention and the perpetrator was arrested immediately, using high tech tracing methods and shoe recognition software. (That last reference was a joke)  I can see these NSA guys frantically going through emails and phone calls because one of them dined with Maggie Thatcher last year.  And you thought they gathered all that data on you to protect you.  HA!  They just want to catch the little bastard that jerked off on Clinton's Big Mac.

You can bet the farm waiters across the country never read the book but saw the movie and felt their efforts to spread their bodily fluids on celebrity food were not only validated and accepted by their waiter peers but felt it was their civil duty to do so.  This scares the shit out of the guys who can't do anything for themselves.  Rockefeller would starve to death if he had to prepare his own meals and it makes me wonder about Howard Hughes' quirky habits of eating only Campbell's chicken noodle soup, saving jars of piss, and touching nothing without a fresh kleenex.  Why do you think waiter applications quadrupled at all the restaurants around Capital Hill.  It wasn't for the tips.  Or was it?  
A word to the wise.  When dining at one of these congressional hangouts, dress down and ask for clean food.

Anonymous, the headless hacker/pranksters who took down $cientology a few years ago, emerged around the same time Fight Club came into the public consciousness.  The similarities are pretty amazing, only Anonymous practices mayhem on the internet and showed themselves as a force to be reckoned with. The Fight Club concept of individual cells acting independently for the greater cause was taken to another level by Anonymous... Individuals acting independently for the greater cause.  Our own government hijacked this very same concept in the form of fictitious terror cells made up of foreign terrorists within our own system, causing terrorist acts and mayhem for the greater cause... which just so happened to be Tyler Durden's greater cause, to bring it all down.  Looks like our government did that all on it's own.

It's psy-ops warfare and the similarities are so close we have to ask ourselves if the post 911 world is the result of Chuck Palahniuk's book/movie or if Chuck just tapped into the emerging individual consciousness that's acting as a catalyst to allow humanity to shake off their oppressor chains through pranks and defiance.

I know enough about the powers that be that when they say black they really mean white.  When they say terrorist cells they mean the faceless members of project mayhem, Anonymous, patriots, free thinkers, intellectuals, and all those people out there with guns that can't be tracked.  It scares the shit out of them that there are so many invisible factions of humanity setting their sights on THEM instead of the Middle Eastern boogeymen they constantly show us.  Picture Berlin toward the end of WWII with the advancement of the allied powers approaching from every direction while the enlightened elite hold up in their guilded bunkers, with a drink in one hand and a suicide pill in the other.

Plans within plans. Oil is only a secondary goal for the hostilities in the middle east.   The real goal is to control the hearts and minds of middle eastern men by swapping out one puppet dictator for another.   It's also the last place on Earth not under new world order control.  The turmoil in Egypt, Syria, Lebanon, Iraq, Afghanistan are the result of divide and conquer.  The oldest trick in the book and it's worked great, until now.  I wonder if the guys who dropped the twin towers were influenced by Chuck's book.  Hmmmmm....

The only difference between a patriot and an insurgent is location.  The only difference between a terrorist and a freedom fighter is which side you're on.

Do these thoughts make me an enemy of the state?