highway fun

As any seasoned driver can tell you, if the speed limit says 65, that means 65 or over, usually 75 or thereabouts.
I wish I had a nickel for every idiot that thinks keeping their car in cruise at 68mph in the hammer lane, passing trucks doing 67mph is a reasonable idea.
Every day and night I see these morons infuriating everyone within line of sight of their annoying driving habits.

Picture a high speed highway with two lanes going in one direction and two lanes going in the opposite direction with a wide medial strip between them. Now picture a heavy semi in the granny lane doing 68mph with one asshole trying to pass him for five miles. Up ahead is free, open space as far as the eye can see while behind them is about a hundred cars trying to decide which lane is moving faster. The asshole trying to pass is talking on his cell or eating her lunch or running on 3 cylinders but more often than not they're on cruise control and enjoy staying in the left lane for reasons only morons like this can understand.(New yorkers love driving like this) As soon as there's an opening the car behind the asshole moves in the right lane to pass, only to get behind another vehicle going the speed of the last truck, with not enough room to get in front of the asshole. For a moment, both cars are riding side by side and you can almost hear the thoughts from the enraged motorists in the rear... Now's your chance. SHOOT DA BITCH!

Another five miles and the asshole finally passes the second truck and everyone breathes a sigh of relief, until they see this total asshat hit what's left of his gas petal and zoom up to 85mph. Everyone knows he can't keep up this speed for long and kicks it in overdrive to pass this menace before he starts to pass another truck. The race is on! A hundred cars doing in excess of 90mph, bumper to bumper. And then it happens... another truck in the granny lane doing 68mph and the bastard spawn begins his slow motion pass at 69mph.

There's two ways to handle this kind of idiot. You can get in the granny lane and do 65 and have the road to yourself or, if you're lucky enough to be behind this jerk, climb up his ass, turn on your high beams, blow your horn, and swerve all over the road while alternating your turn signals. This action closely resembles a drunk driver trying to outrun a swarm of giant bats, and it scares the shit out of anyone in front of them.

I've used this drunken Mad Max technique with great success, and an added benefit is everyone on the highway instantly gives you a wide berth, assuring your ride to be a most pleasant one... at least until you get behind another asshole cruising at 68 in the hammer lane.

Just one more reason I stopped carrying my gun to work.