look on the bright side of life

Word on the internet says the world economic collapse will hit on September 13, 2015.  That's less than four months away and most people did next to nothing to prepare for such a world shaking event.

By world shaking I mean fiat currency will become worthless, even if you managed to get your money out of the bank before they close their doors.  Food processing and transportation will grind to a halt, leaving supermarkets and convenience store shelves empty after day one.  The water will flow only as long as the electric grid stays up.  When the lights go out ya got four days to find water or die of thirst.  Most modern heating systems won't run without electricity no matter how much heating oil you have.  Even if you survive the long, cold winter your plumbing will never be the same.  Say goodbye to indoor plumbing and hello to backyard latrines and chamberpots.

A lot of folks saw this coming and started stockpiling in the event SHTF becomes a reality.  I did and all my friends knew about it.  I told them they can hang here when it all goes down.  All they need to do is add to the survival stockpile.  They all loved the idea but very few made an offering.
At one of our many drunkard fests, Nicole made it clear that when it all goes down she'll be coming to my house to get out of town and party here where it's safe.  I looked her right in the eye and said I would shoot her before she got to the driveway.  "But we're friends", she said.  "You wouldn't shoot a friend".  I'm serious, I said.  I'd put a round in the driver and when the car crashed I'd shoot the rest of you as you left the car.  Only those that contribute can come here and you didn't contribute a thing.  In a SHTF scenario, that means you're more parasite than friend.  I'll dispose of your bodies and keep your car and any valuables you might have and go make a sandwich.

But that got me thinking... It's one thing to lay waste to a car full of your unarmed friends and another to maintain a defensive position against a well armed pack of marauders coming to get your shit and lay waste to you.  In a total societal breakdown, sooner or later, no matter where you are, there will be a need to get out of Dodge as fast as you can and carry only what you need in order to survive.         

For most people around these parts, a world wide economic collapse would most definitely be a major inconvenience but the cities?  Fugetaboutit.  Think, Escape from New York.  Getting out of the city would be priority no. 1 and you better have a good head start and bug out bag if you want to stay alive.

A bug out bag is a small backpack with tools and provisions to survive a minimum of 72 hours in harsh or hostile conditions without external support.
Food, clothing, and shelter are the basics for human life on planet Earth and anyone can survive for 3 days with nothing more than the clothes on their backs for that period of time.  So, why bother with the hassle of putting together a bag?  Maybe generations of humans conditioned to depend on a cradle to grave support system turned us all into little more than domestic animals unable to survive without cell phones and toilet paper.  Take any domestic animal and put them in the wild and they'll become predator, prey, or independent.  The bag is designed to give you an independent edge and to keep you from becoming a cannibal or someone's next meal.

Off the top of my head I can think of two domestic animals that could survive independently in the wild.  Pigs and donkeys.  What do you think gives them an independent edge while avoiding becoming predator or prey?  Wild pigs are opportunistic omnivores.  They eat anything.  They're big and heavy with enough power in their jaws to break bones and their survival strategy is avoidance of danger.  Next to humans, pigs are the smartest land animal.  Donkeys are herbivores and can adapt to most environments.  They're used to guard sheep and goats against coyote attack and coyotes are their only natural enemy.  They don't like canines but enjoy the company of humans and get depressed without companionship.  They like to carry things on their back.

As far as my bag's contents is concerned, I think it reflects aspects of both pig and ass with a healthy dose of modern human tech.  I may add or delete items along the way.  It's always a work in progress.

The bag is a LAPG operator backpack, perfectly suited to hold a gallon of rum, a case of kippered herring, 1lb of trail mix, a stick of pepperoni, a dozen bic lighters in various locations so I always have fire at my disposal, first aid kit, bandannas (3), change of clothing, extra socks, sweatshirt, windbreaker, toothbrush and fluoride-free toothpaste, Mylar windshield screen, Mylar space blankets, wool blanket, warm weather sleeping bag, small popup dome tent, spirit heater, stainless mess kit, magnifying glass, electrical tape, 100' heavy cord, two water bottles, Vaseline, cotton, colloidal silver, LifeStraw, MP3 player, solar charger and extra solar panels, LED flashlights (4) in various places, 1 lb of tobacco in one ounce water proof baggies with papers, Milkbone dog biscuits, 1 lb of ground coffee, Coleman french press coffee maker, 3 rolls of compressed toilet paper, .40 caliber Glock and ammo, 12 gauge Mossberg with 20" barrel, 1 bandoleer 00 buckshot, 1 bandoleer slugs, slingshot, Bowie knife, folding knife, Swiss Army knife, tomahawk, folding saw, dressing stone, p-38, gloves, multi-tool, 10 ounces silver, dust masks, coffee filters, anti-diarrhoeal tablets, portable cb radio, am/fm/sw solar/crank radio, boonie hat, e-cigs with lots of vape juice, sunglasses, SAS Survival Handbook, chewing gum, dried fruit, shorts, sandals, and a half dozen plastic bags.

Most of this stuff is geared toward food, clothing, and shelter with defensive capabilities and light weight sources of entertainment like tunes and nicotine to prevent culture shock.  The rum?  If you ever find yourself in a situation where you had to abandon your home, your car, your computer, your wardrobe, your easy chair, your family photos, every possession you ever owned, and ran for the hills on foot with the sounds of gunfire and screaming behind you and the stuff on your back as your only possessions, I think you'd be very grateful to find a taste of home when you got to a safe spot.

A little melodramatic, you say?  Sure sounds like it.  That's the kind of crap a family of four would take for a weekend camping trip.  When the supplies run out and you're tired of roughing it in the wild, you head back to your hot showers, clean sheets, and the climate controlled environment that defines you as a modern, first world Earthling.

If you want to talk about survival let's get serious.  All you need is the clothes on your back, a good knife, and basic knowledge of finding food and water, self defence, and crafting a shelter.  That bag and everything in it will do nothing but slow you down, make you a target, and prolong your inevitable death for a few days, maybe.

In the event of nuclear destruction, zombie apocalypse, eruption of Yellowstone, the second coming, or alien annihilation from orbit the best you can do is to stay home with all your stuff and drop your last tab of acid at the appropriate time and pray for an extreme out of body experience just before you kiss your physical ass goodbye.

By comparison, an economic collapse would be a walk in the park and a good excuse to pop that bottle of champagne you've been saving.



Have a nice day!