devolution?

I stopped at Radio Shack today to pick up a few parts. I didn't want to stop there but, in many cases, they're the only place in town to get electronic items. It's more like a toy store with a few bins for spare parts in the back.

Never mind they didn't have any circuit boards or wire, but when I asked the kid who was waiting on me about diodes he gave me a blank stare and said, "I don't know anything about that stuff. Go to the Radio Shack by Walmart. They know all about that stuff".
Fine... This kid works in a store that sells electronics and he doesn't know what a resistor is. Who hires these people, anyway? So, I went to the Radio Shack near Walmart, where the guys are all smart about electrical stuff and asked to see an IC breadboard socket. They had two and both packages were open. No big deal. I asked if they were ok and one of the smart guys said, "I dunno". I said, then let me use your ohm meter and I'll check it out. He opened a drawer and even though it was sitting on top of everything, he started digging through it like it wasn't there. "There it is," I said. "That yellow thing." I took the instrument and set it for resistance, fired it up and the digital numbers started going through its paces like I woke it from a deep sleep. "Maybe it needs batteries" said one of the two electrically smart guys, as they stared while I checked conductivity. I'm starting to wonder just how dumb that other kid was to think these guys were so smart. When I was done I asked about diodes and the smarter of the two cheerfully guided me to the diode bin in the back of the store.
Ok, I'm a little rusty as far as electronics go and I completely forgot the resistance color code but I know when a diode has a cathode line it means something as far as polarity goes, so I asked Einstein. His reply...."I don't know anything about that stuff." Well, I figured it out by reading the back of the package and showed him how to answer another customer who might ask the same question. All I got was a slack-jawed stare and I could swear I saw neon green sub-atomic particles orbiting the genius kids head. I said, you don't know much about the stuff in this place, do ya? To which his reply was, "Not really, but I can debug and secure your network. That's what I went to school for."

Then it hit me.
Everyone knows how to push the buttons but no one knows what makes em go. Here we have a place called Radio Shack that used to be run by geeks who knew everything about electronics and then some, and now we have the very same store run by total fools who only know what they were taught in school and nothing more and none of them has ever been taught anything about electronics. Just warm bodies who aren't even interested in the nuts and bolts of the products they sell.

Ok, I'm just a regular guy trying to expand my knowledge base and reality tunnel by building a few gadgets and I can't find anyone who knows more about electronics than me and I forgot more than these guys will ever learn. And it's not just Radio Shack. It's everywhere! Go to any burger joint and talk with the jerks behind the counter. 7 out of 10 will tell you they don't like burgers and try asking for a half dozen Chicken McNuggets. They come in 4, 6, and 8. Not a half dozen.

We've become a service oriented nation and the service sucks because most people treat stupidity as if it were a virtue. You won't find any good electronic technicians because those that have the skills are working for large corporations or the government, not for themselves and certainly not for you. Ditto for all specialized jobs as well as the whole scientific community. Eventually, all specialized stores will disappear because it's not cost effective to keep in stock parts that no one buys because they don't know what to do with them, and the Radio Shacks will become just another toy store that sells the same crap you can find anywhere else, that is if they can stay in business. Try asking someone in Walmart a technical question about anything in any department. You'll just get the same vacuous look as if everyone there is working in someone else's department that day.

Example: Every town had a dozen shoe stores until Walmart came. After all the stores that measured your feet closed, Walmart decides to cut back on their shoe inventory because most styles and sizes don't sell. Now all you get are mall shoe stores that sell the same D width, regular crap that everyone else sells because there isn't a choice anymore, and the salespeople don't know anything about footwear for the same reason Radio Shack employees can't tell the difference between an LED and electrical tape.

The scientific community used to think the dinosaurs became extinct because of over-specialization. I tend to think the opposite is true of humans.

who needs a drill anyway?

So, what did cavemen do if they needed to twist wire for a mobius coil? They did what any semi-upright biped would do. They hooked the wire to a post and hand twisted it with a chop stick.
I swear I can feel this succor vibrate when I hold it.


Although the area around this house has had far less rain than anywhere else this year, the grass is green and lush and growing like crazy, but only in a 10 yard radius around this house. There are some areas of the yard I didn't mow for months. Only the lawn in the immediate vicinity of the house grows 8" in 5 days. I wonder if it has anything to do with all the orgone devices?

frustration mounts

Not serious frustration but frustration just the same.
I got everything together to build an SP. I got the wire for the mobius coil from the cat 5 wire I found in the garage and the frequency generator is complete. All I need to get started is my drill to twist up the wire to begin assembling the mobius coil.

I can't find my drill. I just used it the other day and now it's nowhere to be found. In my search I found my microscope, 3 rolls of electrical tape I gave up for lost last year, and a supply of checks I gave up for lost 3 years ago. I'll give myself a half hour to find it before I make a trip to the hardware store. I'm going to be irritated if I have to buy another drill only to find the old one in a few days, like my electrical tape.

Maximum McLaren

end game

do I really have too much time on my hands?

Investigations into orgonite have begun to yield some interesting results. It's clear now that certain mediums, materials and designs are more effective than others. I found the clear plastic resin doesn't work nearly as well as the fiberglass resin, and smaller copper and aluminum pieces work much better than the slightly larger bits I used in the past. Also, copper coated steel BBs just don't seem to have the punch. It might have to do with their spherical form.

Trial and error, with myself and unknowing people as guinea pigs, provided my preliminary data.

My first conical shaped HHG was a mixture of medium-fine shavings of copper and aluminum in a fiberglass resin matrix with a single crystal, which I placed under my bed for 3 nights. I didn't tell my g/f, but she seemed to have the same effect I had, i.e. high energy levels and intense dreams. I had to stop this experiment after the third day because... you know how women are when they don't get enough sleep. I decided after that to reserve placement of HHGs under the bed for punishment reasons (not that I mind. I love the energy and dreams).

I used this same HHG on Mary's kid. She was staying here for awhile, and I get my guinea pigs where I can, so I placed the HHG on top of a bookshelf on the first floor directly under her bed on the 2nd floor. The results were dramatic. She reported 3 days of vivid dreams involving a crystal accompanied by high energy levels, which resulted in a cleaning frenzy.

I used this procedure with other shapes and densities with varying results, which at least proved to me I'm on the right track.

Last night I charged my cloudbuster with a rather large Herkimer diamond and a lemurian seed crystal to see what would happen. We were supposed to have rain all day today, starting this morning, but the sun is shining. You can see the front trying to move in, but it seems to dissipate within a mile of the house. The cloudbuster is made of the same material as the HHG, only much larger.

As soon as I'm convinced what has the most effect, I'll move on to bigger and better things other than dreams. Stay tuned.

big feet, little feet

I was wondering about how the whole world seems to going green, as if it's a new trend or something. Like, PC on steroids. Carbon footprints and how to make them smaller for the salvation of mankind on Earth, the preservation of coastline villas and the North Pole seems to be the talk of the town.

Al Gore, the godhead of the climate change movement, has a monthly electric bill that surpasses most third world countries GNP, demonstrating he has a demonstrably large carbon footprint. Your average Aqualung, homeless, jobless, soup-kitchen-refugee, by comparison, has an extremely tiny carbon footprint.

At first glance, it seems Al is one of the greatest greenhouse gas emitters in this hemisphere, stomping around the world like a giant, carbon Godzilla, slashing and burning his message of a clean environment while his private jet alone pollutes more than 10,000 Hummers in need of a tune-up. But Al has Carbon Credits in his back pocket, which allows him to pay for the excess greenhouse gases he generates, and that makes things all right.

Carbon credits create a market for reducing greenhouse emissions by giving a monetary value to the cost of polluting the air. This means that carbon becomes a cost of business and is seen like other inputs such as raw materials or labor. In other words, buying carbon credits is exactly like buying indulgences in the 16th century.

As Johann Tetzel, a Dominican friar selling indulgences, by order of The Vatican, in the 16th century once said, as he set up his shop in the local church, "I have here the passports... to lead the human soul to the celestial joys of Paradise." The fees were dirt cheap and if you bought one of these passports (credits) you were guaranteed a fast-track trip to Heaven.

So, with carbon credits, you can reduce your carbon footprint to that of an Aqualung and be able to burn Styrofoam and tires in your back yard and still be welcomed in any lecture hall, touting the need to drive hybrid cars and stop smoking so that the insurance rates don't go up on the beachfront property of your friends.

I see a business opportunity here....

For a mere $1,000 I will sell you one carbon credit witch will grant you the ability to dump the human waste of a family of 4 in the nearest stream AND burn your surplus car tires in your back yard for one year. In return, I will get 6 human beings (provided by Jenny Craig) to walk treadmills to produce electricity which I will sell back to the local power company and invest in green technology, like windmills.

Or would you rather buy a seat at Gods right hand? Al? Anyone?

the internet must die!

Not if I can help it.

Don't misunderestimate this man

not quite sure why I like this

press 1 for english

If this bill ever passes, I think I'll become a Mexican citizen.



Even though this bill wasn't passed, it shows what total assholes our representatives are for almost passing it. The Whitehouse was in full support of this bill, which doesn't surprise me in the slightest, considering GW and his staff hasn't done one, single, thing in their 2 terms that didn't include pissing on his countrymen and our constitution. He also said anyone not in favor of this amnesty bill is unpatriotic. Talk about Orwellian double-think... What surprises me is Obama and Hilary both voted for this bill, knowing they still have some constituent asses to kiss before they do their big run to the oval office. If this administration and this congress would have pulled this kind of crap 100 years ago they'd be dragged out of their offices and shot.

When did the American people lose their balls?

Is there nothing sacred?

If there's one thing I can't stand is yo momma jokes. How anyone can denigrate someone else's mother, that icon of womanhood, that beacon of care and compassion, that bastion of comfort and saintliness. It sickens me to hear such insults to the sanctified state of motherhood.

Here's 21 of them.


1. Yo momma's so fat she's on both sides of the family.
2. Yo momma's so fat the only thing attracted to her is gravity.
3. Yo momma's so fat she has to iron her pants in the driveway.
4. Yo momma's so fat when she bends over we lose an hour of daylight.
5. Yo momma's so fat when she bungee jumps she goes straight to hell.
6. Yo momma's so fat every time she walks in high heels she strikes oil.
7. Yo momma's so fat when she goes to the zoo elephants throw her peanuts.
8. Yo momma's so fat when she goes to an all you can eat buffet they have to install speed bumps.
9. Yo momma's so fat the National Weather Agency assigns names to her farts.
10. Yo momma's so fat she influences the tides.
11. Yo momma's so fat she has shock absorbers on her toilet seat.
12. Yo momma's so fat I had to ride a bus and 2 trains to get on her good side.
13. Yo momma's so fat she's got smaller fat women orbiting around her.
15. Yo momma's so fat her belt size is equator.
16. Yo momma's so fat even her clothes have stretch marks.
17. Yo momma's so stupid when she hears it's chilly outside she gets a bowl.
18. Yo momma's so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jiff.
19. Yo momma's so ugly the beautician took 12 hrs... for a quote.
20. Yo momma's so stupid she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.
21. Yo momma's so ugly Bigfoot took her picture.

fuckin off from the 17th century

"Leisure is the mother of Philosophy."

-Thomas Hobbes (1588-1679)

this explains a lot.

"There is a Law of Reversed Effort. The harder we try with the conscious will to do something, the less we shall succeed. Proficiency and the results of proficiency come only to those who have learned the paradoxical art of doing and not doing, or combining relaxation with activity, of letting go as a person in order that the immanent and transcendent Unknown Quantity may take hold. We cannot make ourselves understand; the most we can do is to foster a state of mind, in which understanding may come to us."

-Aldous Huxley (1894-1963)

ever felt like doing this?

just pissin around

For those of you who take your micturating seriously, check out the urinals in the Peninsula Hotel in Hong Kong.

After seeing urinal.net I made up my mind to install a urinal of my own.

f*cking off. all that's missing is u.

WARNING! THE FOLLOWING ARTICLE IS SPRINKLED WITH THE "F" WORD. IF THIS WORD OFFENDS YOU, MENTALLY SUBSTITUTE "SCREW" FOR THE "F" WORD AND YOU'LL BE OK.

When it comes to work, I tend to kick ass and get jobs done as fast as I can so I can have more free time at the end of the day for the important things. I used to think this was a sign of a good work ethic and it gave me a sense of pride that I was capable of performing difficult tasks by choreographing moves and cutting corners. I now realize the only reason I became so efficient at multi-tasking and preplanning was so I would have a larger block of time at the end of the day for the sole purpose of fucking off. I love my fuck-off time. It's my reason for living and my driving force as a human being. Admit it... we all fuck off at work. Some like to fuck off all day on a simple project that can be completed in an hour while some, like me, like to get it over and done with so it doesn't cut into fuck-off time at the end of the day.

In any given corporation you'll find the biggest fuck offs at the top of the food chain. These are the guys so practiced at multi-tasking, self discipline, efficiency, and getting other people to do their work that they appear to be the perfect corporate drones, capable of toiling 100 hours a week for the company's bottom line. The truth is, 90% of those 100 hours are spent talking with people on the phone, emailing friends, bullshitting, going on business trips with their golf clubs, doodling at their desks, and walking around with a clipboard filled with sketches of their new swimming pool complete with scantily clad girls. In general, fucking off.

Some people tend to lack imagination, so they fuck off when they can by talking and joking with other bottom feeders as they slowly and methodically plod along doing the simple tasks assigned to them by the slightly more imaginative company fuck-off bosses, who see this low gear work ethic as not only a company drain but cutting into their own fuck-off time and are systematically replaced by lower paid bottom feeder fuckoffs.

I realize this subject is too involved to fully examine in this format. I may have to put together a whole page just on fucking off. Stay tuned. I'll let you know when I'm done fuckin around with it.

nobody seems to notice, nobody seems to care

Henry Rollins internet freedom

dioretix

little feet prints

Greenhouse gases, carbon footprints, global warming, and the latest term, planet change, just to cover their bases, are the planetary buzzwords du jour. What a load of crap. It used to be funny listening to these tofu-eating, owl-worshiping, vegan whores of sensibility prattle on about the righteousness of Sheryl "Two-squares" Crow, Al "An inconvenient truth" Bore and the rest of their ilk about how people are responsible for the Earths problems and how not smoking and driving hybrid cars will save the planet.

I remember a local college prof who was on this bandwagon decades ago, when we were all sure it was global cooling, who not only talked the talk but walked the walk with a single light bulb in his small apartment for illumination, dressed in layers and gave up his car.

When Sheryl and Al decide to walk the walk and start carpooling is when I might consider the possibility of listening to them without laughing.

The story of O

I made some orgone blasters the other day. This time I used a teflon pan so I won't have to use a messy release agent. What fine little works of art!

The point in making these things is to transmute the dangerous orgone that exists almost everywhere in our lives, into positive orgone, making life more pleasent, healthy and harmonious... physically, mentally, and emotionally. Lofty goals but we all have to start somewhere and I decided to start here, where I live. I have one of these little biscuits under the seat of my car and I now love the drive to work. I wondered what would happen to my surly boss if I exposed him to some positive orgone energy, so I took a couple to work and unceremoniously placed a biscuit amongst the clutter under his desk.

By the second day I overheard two co-workers talking about the change in attitude the boss had lately. I asked them in what way and they said he seemed happy and was busy doing his own thing without micro-managing everyone and was saying funny things and seemed unaffected by his usual over-the-top stress. Usually he's low energy and has everyone doing everything the hard way while he tells them they're doing it wrong. Sure enough... I saw him moving things around and keeping himself busy and really enjoying himself.
It's amazing what a little covert energy zap can do.

(BTW, Mr. H, don't tell Mr. C. That'll ruin my scientific experiment and cut into my fuck-off time.)

I'll show you the life of the mind!

As you may or may not know, I've been messing with orgone energy for some time now with projects like orgone blankets, orgone blasters, cloudbusters and my first project, the orgone accumulator that I keep in my garage, so I decided to build a holy hand grenade, or HHG.
Each project proved to me that orgone energy not only exists but it's effects can be dramatic, so working with orgonite seemed to be the most logical next step. The orgone blasters were basically crystals wrapped with a copper coil, embedded in fiberglass resin with shredded copper and aluminum, or orgonite. The idea is that orgonite attracts and accumulates orgone energy but transmutes the negative orgone (DOR) into positive orgone (POR). It's the positive orgone that is beneficial to life and DOR has the opposite effect. The orgone accumulator attracted both positive and negative orgone, and even though I live far enough from DOR sources, such as cell phone towers, I felt it best to concentrate on orgonite as a medium for it's purity.
The construction of this HHG was different from the blasters in that I used a cone shape and 5 crystals with a coil at the top of the cone surrounding the double pointed crystal. This design was to emit energy vertically rather than horizontally. Last night I put this HHG under my bed to see what happens when I sleep.
Well, last night I had some pretty incredible dreams about puzzle pieces shaped like window screens, the golden ratio, a background of cool fire, and a god-like voice yelling, "I'll show you the life of the mind!" over and over as the secrets of the universe danced about the tip of my brain. I woke up refreshed, and imbued with a new recipe for lasagna.

What happened to the heros?

Britain's World War II prime minister Winston Churchill has been cut from a list of key historical figures recommended for teaching in English secondary schools. The same is true for Adolf Hitler, Mahatma Gandhi, Joseph Stalin and Martin Luther King. I wonder why Britain would choose to cut the history of these people from the school curriculum. Then I heard about the Royal Canadian Mounties are under attack for "horribly broken" leadership. I can't speak for the Canadians but I always regarded the mounties as the acme, a group of perfect policemen who always get their man. Those red uniformed, jodpour wearing, horse riding, professional cop criminologists with cords around their necks attached to their sidearms, to insure no one ever gets their guns. True individuals who would go it alone in the harshest environments, armed only with a pistol, food rations for a day, and balls the size of coconuts to bring back alive the roughest, toughest, criminally psychotic, tyers of women to railroad tracks and sawmills the western world can muster. True individual heroes, matched only by The Texas Rangers as men capable of quelling mob violence. It only takes one Texas Ranger to suppress a major disturbance and only one Mountie to get his man.
What's the connection between dropping Churchill from the English curriculum and shoveling dirt on one of North Americas most highly regarded institutions?
I think it has to do with the systematic elimination of individual hero worship. Think about this... How many living heroes can you name? Even individual sports heroes are fading away. Gone are the Babe Ruth's, Shoeless Joe Jackson's, and Mohammad Alis. Gone are the Tom Payne's, George Patton's, and Albert Einsteins. What do we hear about sports heroes? They do excessive drugs, steroids, alcohol, abuse women, and gamble on sports and get thrown out of the Hall of Fame. Even the scientific community will discredit any reputable scientist who doesn't think within their very narrow box. We've moved from an individual hero worshiping society to a society that glorifies firemen, and only as a group, and that's only because of 9/11. It's the group that has replaced the individual and it's the group that takes credit for anything unless you happen to be in charge of Enron. The bad guys are individuals and the good guys are bureaucracies.
The Mounties have always been viewed as individuals, armed only with his wits, common sense, determination, and quiet, reserved machismo, on a mission to bring in the bad guy. The same goes for Churchill and hundreds of other when-the-going-gets-tough-the-tough-get-going individuals that we desperately need in our history books as figures we can look up to no matter how many quarts of whiskey they drink or Cuban cigars they smoke.

Now, sit down and draw up a list of all the heroes you can think of and ask yourself if these people will be gone from your children's history books.

My lucky day

Are you one of those people who refuse to pick up a penny unless it's heads up? I know a lot of people like this. They'll pick up a heads-up penny because it's good luck but won't touch a penny that's heads down. I think it's a regional thing. To the rest of the world a found penny is a good thing but only in this area of PA, mostly Schuylkill county and surrounding areas, is a found penny a good thing only half the time. It must be the sub-human inhabitants that live here. These are the progeny of that rugged coal mining stock from Eastern Europe who were too stupid to go west with the rest of the pioneers so they stayed in Schuylkill county, digging coal with their bare hands from deep underground like a race of cave trolls. And these specimens won't pick up a penny just because it's heads up... They distrust good fortune like it's an evil genie. Someone should remind these trogs how much a penny can buy at the company store. I tried once...

I was in front of the store when I looked down and saw a penny. I noticed a woman who also saw it and asked if she was going to pick it up. She asked if it was heads up. I said, you mean if it's heads up you'll pick it up because it's lucky? She replied, yes. I then asked her if a tails-up penny is bad luck, since she put so much stock in heads-up superstition. She didn't answer. Perhaps her genetically inferior brain was busy formulating an answer. I then proceeded to explain to her that the subconscious mind deals in absolutes. To your subconscious there is no difference between a penny and a million dollars. Money is money. Your subconscious interprets your refusal to bend down to pick up a penny, even if it's heads-down, as a refusal to so much as bend at the waist for a second for any amount of money. I then asked her if it was a tails-up half dollar would she pick it up. By this time she was either embarrassed by my exposing her stupid superstitions or was in the process of trying to generate a thought. At any rate, she just stood looking at me in silence. I then looked down at the penny and said, "It's tails up. Ya want it?" I was giving her a chance to show me she understood what I was saying all this time. I had hoped she would simply bend over, pick up the penny and just think about what I said but all she did was stand there like a mute retard. So, I picked up the penny, held it up in the air and said "It's my lucky day!"

Yeah, it WAS my lucky day but I wanted so much for it to be hers too.

blues fest '07

Once again we made our pilgrimage to the annual Briggs Farm Blues Fest where thousands sat in the hot, summer Pa sun and quaffed copious amounts of intoxicating fluids. Heat strokes, mirages and general madness were rampant, but that's all part of the fun. It wasn't all bad. As I sat there feeling my life force ebbing with thousands of fellow sufferers I was reawakened and renewed by the smell of cigars and marijuanna wafting through the air. And there... in the middle of mayhem and chaos was St. Phred, the patron saint of imbibation, who was canonized for teaching the lepers to sing. He looked me straight in the eye and said a pearl of wisdom so profound it drained the lymph from my glands. He said, "looks like you need some rum, bud." I was imbued and imbibed.

9 seconds of fame, almost

So, Mary and I stopped for gas on our way to Wilkes Barre. The object was to get supplies for cloud busters, orgone blasters and holy hand grenades to disrupt the New World Order plan for global takeover by neutralizing DORs from cell phone towers and chemtrails.



Anyway, this reporter for channel 16 asked me what my opinion was on the proposed bill to put toll booths on I-80. I gave him a 10 minute tirade about how our esteemed state politicians don't have to drive around here because if they did they wouldn't think of charging motorists to use highways that are always closed in the warm weather for repairs and always closed in cold weather because PENDOT won't get their lazy asses in the snow plows after sundown because Emperor Rendell fired hundreds of PEN DOT workers and slashed their budget to funnel money to his pet projects in Philly, like mass transit and how Rendell and his girlfriend should be dragged out of the governors mansion and hanged by their heels at the nearest gas station just like they did with Il Duce and if the state needs money so bad that they have to spend a small fortune to install toll booths at every exit to further burdon the taxpayers with even more costs and congress can vote themselves the largest pay raise in history at 2am then those bastards need a little vigilante justice from citizenry. We'll show those homo bedwetters The Patriot Act when we drag their sorry asses out at the sharp end of a pitchfork as we put em all up against the wall, muthafuckas.

After all that the guy next to me got 9 seconds of sound bite and Homeland Security detained me for 8 hours, strip-searched me and froze my assets off. Whatever happened to free speech?

something to think about.

Mary sent me this. I knew there was a reason I hated that fat fuck Cheney.

giuliani for 9/11

Hey Rudy, if you love 9/11 so much why don't you marry it?
On second thought, you'd just divorce it in a couple years.

Here's more.

is ron paul for real?

When I turned voting age I took a blood oath to never vote republican for president.
After looking into Ron Paul I decided to switch to republican just so I can vote for this man in the primaries. Never have I heard a politician so eloquently speak what's in my own head. And this guy is a republican! It's Alice down the rabbit hole... black is white and up is down. No wonder all the other candidates don't want to debate him. He makes them all look like used car salesmen politicians... which they are.

You go Ron. We'll see ya in The White House.

alex jones in waking life

Behold the premier ranter of our time. He was the first man to go undercover and film world leaders engaged in human sacrifice at Bohemian Grove. He was arrested by G.W. Bush for asking a question.

It's nice to know there are guys like Alex Jones out there.

little ol' lady vs. car

I wonder what was in that hand bag?

raging fred

Dec. 21, 2012

2012 has been on my mind lately and the more I look into it the more I'm totally blown away by it. It seems the Mayans and the Vedics, who lived worlds apart, determined thousands of years ago the cycle of man as we know it will be over in 2012. The greenies will try to tell you it's because of greenhouse gases and global warming. The Christians will say it's Armageddon. The conspiracy theorists will say it's the new world order. Vedic philosophy believes 2012 is the time where nothing is separated from ALL and a spiritually aware human will emerge. Even the scientific community is looking into 2012. It seems by 2012 our solar system will line up with the galaxy in such a way that hasn't happened since something like 26,000 BC, around the time of the sinking of Atlantis. The planetary line-up will all be pointed toward the center of the galaxy. Earth will be the only planet in our solar system on the other side. At this time our sun will produce intense solar flares not seen for over 50 yrs. All these magnetic and gravitational occurrences will happen at once and God only knows what will happen, but whatever happens it's gonna be big. So big our tiny little brains can't possibly imagine. One thing our scientific community seems to believe is Earth will reverse polarity and start spinning in the other direction. We'll see the sun rise in the west, that is if we're still here.

All the more reason to be somewhere wonderful to experience this once-in-a-thousand-lifetimes occurrence. I suggest you meet us at Sloppy Joe's in Key West at December 20, 2012. If nothing happens you'll have a very cool memory of the greatest party in history. If the world ends at least you get to go out with some very cool, like-minded friends as we all watch the sunrise with the beverage of our choice.

I wonder if 20,000 years from now there will be mythology about the sinking of a great continent inhabited by beings that flew the skies and traveled under the seas in metal fish, who built huge towers to be closer to their gods, who had special caves with golden arches where food would magically appear, who harnessed the powers of the sun and invented the first wheel.

"What happened to these wonderful people, oh great one?" "My child, they transformed into spiritual, non-corporeal entities and became the twinkling lights in the night sky."

A Dream Short-Circuited

Meyerson is editor-at-large of American Prospect and the L.A. Weekly
Meyerson Special to The Washington Post

WASHINGTON -- On March 28, Circuit City announced that it was laying off 3,400 of its salesclerks. Not because they had poor
performance records, mind you: Their performance was utterly beside the point. They were shown the door, said the chain,
simply because they were the highest-salaried salesclerks that Circuit City employed.
Their positions were not eliminated. Rather, the store announced that it would hire their replacements at the normal starting
salary.
One can only imagine the effect of Circuit City's announcement on the morale of the workers who didn't get fired. The
remaining salesclerks can only conclude: Do a good job, get promoted and you're outta here.
It was, in short, just a normal day in contemporary American capitalism.
Over at Wal-Mart, the employer that increasingly sets the labor standards for millions of our compatriots, wage caps have
been set for certain jobs, and many longtime employees are now required to work weekends and nights in the hope that
they'll quit. A memo prepared by a Wal-Mart executive in 2005 for the company's board noted that "the cost of an associate
with 7 years of tenure is almost 55 percent more than the cost of an associate with 1 year of tenure, yet there is no difference
in his or her productivity." (That, of course, is because Wal-Mart does nothing to raise its employees' skills lest it have to raise
their wages.) Coincidentally, in the same week that Circuit City axed its clerks, an analysis of Internal Revenue Service data
from 2005 that became available showed that the bottom 90 percent of Americans made less money that year than they had
in 2004. According to a study by economists Emmanuel Saez of the University of California at Berkeley and Thomas Piketty of
the Paris School of Economics, total reported income in the United States increased by 9 percent in 2005 over 2004. All of that
increase, however, went to the wealthiest 10 percent of Americans, and the wealthiest 1 percent experienced an increase of
14 percent. Among the remaining 90 percent, income actually decreased by 0.6 percent.
And 2005, let us remember, wasn't a year of economic downturn. The American economy was humming along. It was only
the American people who weren't doing very well.
What all this amounts to is a triumph of corporate and financial power, and of the conservative economics that shores it up.
Once upon a time, American prosperity actually benefited Americans. From 1947 through 1973, U.S. productivity rose by 104
percent, and median family income rose by an identical 104 percent. Those were also the only years of real union power in
the United States, years in which one-quarter of the workforce, and in some years one-third, was unionized. Apparently, this
level of worker power and mass prosperity proved intolerable to our financial elite and their political flunkies.
Since the '70s, American business has generally done its damnedest to keep its workers down. Employers routinely opted
to pay the negligible penalties for violating the National Labor Relations Act rather than permit their employees to join unions.
In 1969, according the National Labor Relations Board, the number of employees who'd suffered illegal retaliation for
exercising their right to join or maintain a union was just over 6,000; by 2005, that number had risen to 31,358. According to a
study out this January from the Center for Economic and Policy Research, fully one in five activists on unionization campaigns
are illegally fired. And as worker power declines, so do living standards. Secure retirement pensions are history;
employer-provided health benefits are going fast.
To all of this, conservatives offer no remedy whatsoever save to make things worse. Employer-provided pensions
collapsing? Let's gut Social Security, too. Health insurance tottering? By all means, let's preserve our private, for-profit system,
which currently fails to cover 47 million of our fellow Americans. Income increases going only to the rich? Let's switch to a flat
tax (Rudy Giuliani's most recent brainstorm), which further shifts the tax burden from the upwardly mobile rich to the
downwardly mobile everyone else.
And restoring the right of workers to join unions, which is the key to rebuilding a vibrant middle class? There's a clear way to
do that. Next week, the Senate will take up the Employee Free Choice Act, which the House has already passed. By
compelling employers to recognize unions if a majority of their workers sign affiliation cards, the legislation would bring a
modicum of balance to workplace relations and to the American economy as well.
Business, the president and the Republican leadership are fighting the measure with everything they have.
What they don't have, however, is their own theory of how to regain mass prosperity. How could they? Mass prosperity is
precisely what they've labored mightily, and successfully, to destroy.

Beezin hell

Drones can fly away
Even worker bees can leave
The queen is their slave

Love is in the air

It was a spring day like every other. Cool morning, limited sunshine, and me in the throws of spring fever. In short, a blah day. Then I got this in my mail and laughed my ass off.
Thanks Rita. You happily give predictable a bloody nose.

rappin rove

Watching this is like watching your parents disco dancing in front of your friends.
How embarrassing. To think this man is the man behind the prez. Oh, the humanity... It's like this unwilling, voyeuristic glimpse into the abyss. You can't take your eyes off this, but it hurts.

This is like watching your grandparents have sex.

rage against the machine

To a coffee drinker, life is nonexistent when you wake up to a dead coffee machine. Life gets fucked up when you can't have your morning coffee. You start off with 2 left feet, one eye and half a brain. As Bob Richards says, what a way to start the day. It only takes a couple hours before the caffeine deprived headaches begin and it's downhill from there.
The point is, I want my caffeine now, the way I want it, ie, to taste good and give me a decent rush of adrenaline to propel me through the days events.
That didn't happen this morning. Mr. Fuckin Coffee took a dump right on my coffee nook before the first cup of cold sludge came oozing out. By nine o'clock I not only realized I forgot my socks but my shoes were on the wrong feet and my underwear was on the outside. How embarrassing. Does this ever happen to you?

I saw the light was on in Mr. Coffee but obviously, no one was home. I begged and pleaded with this infernal machine to do something. Please, just one cup. Comeonnnnnnn.......
JUST ONE FUCKIN CUP, DAMN YOU! I Knew it was hopeless. Pleading with a coffee maker is below pity. I then looked it straight in the carafe and said, "Look. Work properly or you will end up in the meadow with the rest of your planned obsolescing ilk."

After work I went out and got myself a brand new Hamilton Beech carafe-free coffee machine. What a cool piece of machinery! And what a great buzz! What a fuckin great buzz, pardon my french. What was I thinking, buying all those carafe-leaking, coffee-dribbling, essence-leaking pieces of Mr. Fuckin Coffee crap. I, too, was sucked into thinking I needed the originator of easy coffee making machines to make my life more pleasently easy. I admit, I was wrong. Mr. Coffee sucks. All their carafes leak, the coffee leaks out of the bottom, it tastes like shit, and they live on Joltin Joe's commercials, and he's been dead for years.

The bottom line is, all things manufactured now days is shit and will all end up in a landfill within a few years of purchase.

That's why I decided to have a party at my place as soon as it gets warm. Bring your coffee makers that took a dump, as well as other appliances that no longer serve your best interests, such as VCR's, cell phones, electric toothbrushes, computer monitors, electric shavers, alarm clocks, DVD players, computers... you get the picture.
Bring em all and we'll let you rage against the machines with your weapon of choice. You have your choice of calibres, shotgun gauges, black powder, thermite. Yes, we'll have thermite and we'll blow the shit out of all this stuff.

AND YOU WILL LIKE IT!

To be announced. Be there.

The Big Lebowski in 5 seconds

The title says it all.

Beware The Average

The Presidential Lottery

There's talk of getting a new U.S. president soon. Hilary is getting ready to make a fool of herself and every other potential candidate is chomping at the bit. All will say they are the best for the country, they represent your interests, and you should vote for them in November. This next presidential election will be a colorfully, monochromatic one for sure. Obama is white on the inside and black on the outside and Hilary is white on the outside and black on the inside. Giuliani, Richardson, Edwards, McCain, Romney, Biden........It's so confusing. It's selling toothpaste. Crest? Pepsodent? Preparation H?

First of all, anyone who wants to be president so bad that they'd kiss a million unwashed asses, live on a bus for a year, spend a fortune prostituting themselves to the highest bidder, and pretend they enjoy dropping their pants and exposing their genetically deformed, disease-ridden testicles to this endless ocean of slack-jawed voting rabble, like some demented used care salesman on an evangelistic, bad acid trip road show, is exactly the person you DON'T want in that position. The end result isn't getting the best man for the job but getting the lesser of two evils. We no longer vote for the best candidate but to keep that other waste of semen out. Ya call that democracy?

I have a better idea.

Let's do away with this system and start up a presidential lottery. Each district draws a slip of paper representing every voter in that district. One paper has a black dot on it. That's the candidate. All the districts then submit their black dots for the state drawing, where a state champion is chosen. On election night they can have all 50 state lottery winners assembled in one place for the presidential lottery, where one person is filtered from the whole country to represent the nation as The President.

Hilary and Obama will co-host the show. They can have witty banter like, "Obama, you misinformed negro" and "Hilary, you ignorant slut." They can have awe-inspiring acts like the Osmond and Brady Bunch Jello wrestling extravaganza and Billy Greenbush could sing God Bless America while all the living former presidents can take turns doing stand up comedy. Networks will scramble for this. The ad revenue alone will be enough to balance the budget. A 50 share rating, at least.

Of course, at each step the winner could always step down and allow a re-drawing, allowing someone else to take his place for the district or state. No one's going to force you to be president. After all, this a democracy of the people, by the people and for the people... or did I get that part wrong on my history test?

Isn't that what democracy is in it's purist form? Isn't democracy what we sell to the world as the best system on Earth? Isn't it about time we walk the walk instead of getting the same career politicians, election after election, doing the same insane things in the same insane way expecting different insane results with nothing to show for the effort but higher taxes, longer work hours, less pay, and more governmental intrusion?

Before you completely put this idea down maybe you should think back to all the insane ideas our past presidents came up with and how you said if you were in that position you'd do things differently. Well, here's your chance.

If this were anyone else I'd be concerned

'Well, what?' I said, smecking. 'Are you not satisfied with beating me near to death and having me spat upon and making me confess to crimes for hours on end and then shoving me among bezoomies and vonny perverts in that grahzny cell? Have you some new torture for me, you bratchny?'
It'll be your own torture,' he said, serious. 'I hope it tortures you to madness.'
And then, before he told me, I knew what it was. The old ptitsa who had all the kots and koshkas had passed on to a better world in one of the city hospitals. I'd cracked her a bit too hard, like.

just a gastronomic thought

I like to cook. Not just to make something to shove down my throat to refuel but the creative act of selecting ingredients, chopping onions, cutting meat with a razor sharp cleaver, and selecting spices to satisfy not only a basic, primal, urge of survival but a specific chemical need my body is relaying to my brain in the form of appetite communication. I've always believed a picky eater is an underachiever but more importantly, if you eat something you like that you never had before you'll live a hundred days longer. My goal is to live forever and if I try something different every 99 days and like it I'm ahead of the game.

As I was preparing a gulyas the other day, I realized two things.

1. I'm a godam good cook.
2. Smokers make better cooks.


First of all, I don't measure anything. A pinch of this, a handful of that, dump in some of this, taste and adjust. In the case of the gulyas I started with a bunch of chopped onions, clarified and slightly blackened in olive oil, A bottom round roast cut in 1/2" cubes, washed and salted and dumped in the pot with caraway seeds, a bunch of hot paprika and a couple handfuls of sweet paprika, and water to cover after it browns. By the time it was ready for the spuds, the gulyas was developing a truly spectacular flavor. Then it dawned on me... If a non-smokin' me were to make this stuff it wouldn't have near the flavor it has now. See, nicotine reduces the sense of taste so non-smokers don't require as much flavor. It's been said you can pour a pint of Irish whisky in one end of Loch Ness and a non-smoker can taste it at the other end. Is that the kind of person you want to flavor your food? Someone who can taste .0003 parts per million? Or would you rather have a gastronomic experience prepared by someone who compensates for a diminished sense of taste by creating a fully balanced, sumptuous flavor that would make a Hungarian cry?

This explains why nuvo cuisine, wheat grass, and sawdust is so tasty to all those people who want a non smoking world.

I hear Julia Child used to smoke cigars with Paul Prudhomme. Is that true?

Say it ain't so, Joe

I was just researching Joe Papp's noble gas plasma engine and I can't for the life of me understand why I didn't know about this stuff before. I looked into room temperature nuclear fusion, hydrogen power engines, orgone, vegetable oil diesel engines, Joe Neuman's energy machine, the 60' drinking bird, and tons of other lesser-known contrivances doomed to the mists of forgotten perpetual motion antiquity but this noble gas plasma engine is, for lack of a better term, the tits.

Here you have Joe Papp, a pilot and microfiche technician who escaped to Canada in 1957 during the Hungarian revolution with plans for a revolutionary engine given to him by a scientist rather than letting it fall into the hands of the Soviets. Joe was no scientist but in 1966 managed to build a submarine and supposedly traveled under the Atlantic and was found bloody and battered on a life raft off the coast of France, 13 hrs after he left the North American coast. The sub was lost at sea, never to be found, and Joe was looked at as a stunt making jerk. Some 20 years later he developed and built a car engine. This engine is a multi-cylinder piston and crank design like today's car engines, but each cylinder is sealed with a charge of helium, neon, argon, krypton, and xenon. It has no intake or exhaust ports, nor even a radiator. Its outside temperature was about 140 degrees F and generated no pollutants, not even CO2. It was totally clean and could run for an estimated 10,000 hrs for about $1.00 worth of fuel in the form of inert gas. The engine could run smoothly down to 100 rpm and developed hundreds of horsepower at only 1000 rpm and had torque in the hundreds of foot pounds.

Imagine an engine that could run for 10 years with no fuel, no emissions, no cooling system, no heat, no exhaust, very little maintenance, only one moving part, and a fraction of the cost of a conventional engine.

This isn't just another cold fusion fantasy. Joe Papp managed to get 3 patents that could realistically transform the world as we know it.

* "Method and Means for Generating Explosive Forces," applied for on November 1, 1968, granted as U.S. #3,680,431, August 1, 1972, assigned to Environetics, Inc. of Gardena, California; Papp declares the general nature of the noble gas mixture necessary to produce explosive release of energy. He also suggests several of the triggering sources that may be involved. There is little doubt that Papp is not offering full disclosure here, but there is no doubt that others who have examined this patent and followed its outline have already been able to obtain explosive detonations in noble gases. Caution: Anyone who undertakes to try to duplicate this process must be very careful about safety issues.

* "Method and Means of Converting Atomic Energy into Utilizable Kinetic Energy," applied for on October 31, 1968, granted as U.S. #3,670,494, June 20, 1972, and assigned to Environetics, Inc.

* "Inert Gas Fuel, Fuel Preparation Apparatus and System for Extracting Useful Work from the Fuel," applied for September 4, 1980, granted as U.S. #4,428,193, January 31, 1984, and assigned to Papp International, Inc. of Lincoln, Nebraska. This is a very lengthy patent, filled with many insights about how his sealed, non-cooled engine process may have worked.


Unfortunately, Joe Papp was a paranoid asshole who was in constant fear that someone wanted to steal his invention so he chose to destroy his research shortly before his death.
What loss to humanity. If not for greed, scientist egos, and neutralization from the powers that be, we might be enjoying free energy in every form without being chained to Mobil/Exxon's gas pumps or our local power grid.

We can't expect GM to market this technology. They'd rather cut their own throats. The government? Fugetaboutit. And in today's climate of constantly chasing the dollar, it looks like the individual will have to develop this himself... and probably sell out to the highest bidder.
Is it any wonder we still use fossil fuels?

It seems to me the only way to get this technology out and to keep it in the hands of the people is to give it away and don't expect a profit. We're already stuck on this monetary merry-go-round with bleak prosperity, higher heating bills, and smaller cell phones to look forward to.

Wouldn't you rather have a total electric home, never have to buy fuel, and have a check from the electric company every month? Or would you rather be a mule?

metro driving 101

We used to drive like this when were kids and no one thought much of it. That's what steel bumpers were for. Try it nowadays and you can look forward to a substance test, loss of license, impounding of your vehicle, loss of your insurance, 30 days in the grey bar hotel, and a $2500 bill for every car you stick because the bumpers are made from plastic with the tensile strength of a potato chip.
Do I wish for the good ol' days when bumpers were designed to bump? Nah. We're much better off with plastic cars made from an ever renewable and plentiful resource... oil.

neighbors

A few phrases come to mind. Anger management, potential stroke victim, BPD, cruising for a coronary. The road to good mental health is right around the corner.

I feel a slight wave of nausea, don't you?

If your goal is to push the bile to the tip of my throat, mission accomplished.
Way to go John.

RAW

Robert Anton Wilson left this Earth January 11, 2007.
Author, visionary, scientist, teacher, philosopher, historian, guerrilla ontologist, and guru. He was one of the greatest thinkers of our time and his passing will bring immeasurable loss to humanity.
He taught me the map is not the territory, the menu is not the meal, and "maybe" is a better discription than "is". He broadened my reality tunnel and opened my mind like a can of worms on steroids.

Thanks for the enlightenment, Bob.

freedom to fascism

Has anyone noticed a difference in life lately? Sort of a cloud over everything... a sense of seriousness that wasn't there before? Maybe you don't notice it because it's been part of our lives for so long and we're getting used to corporations, politicians, and "terrorists" continually coming up with more and more ways to make our lives oppressive, bit by tiny bit. Hidden charges on your phone bill and electric bill. Insane interest rates on credit cards. The Patriot Act, Homeland Security, I.R.S. Needing permission from the government for virtually every transaction from health care, putting gas in your car, starting a business, or buying a home. Quality jobs in America going south of the border or overseas while China provides nearly everything manufactured. A "war on terror" where phones are tapped, e-mails read, a national ID card due in May 2008 embedded with radio frequency identification that will replace your drivers license so you can be tracked anywhere. At the same time, our southern borders are open to illegal immigration but it's illegal for our border patrol to stop them. Americans work hard their whole lives to retire on social security while illegal immigrants are granted social security free of charge. You can try to vote these guys out of office but electronic voting is becoming the standard. It's well documented that electronic voting machines can be programmed to pick a winner before the election by whatever margin they want with no paper ballots for back-up.
The list goes on and on, and with each addition to this list we lose a little more of our freedoms until our freedoms are in name only. Some lofty, idealistic ideas our founding fathers thought was a good idea and the Constitution will be what GW Bush once said, "Just a goddamned piece of paper", and the Bill of Rights should be changed to reflect our "modern world", and the cover story is, "war on terror", "war on drugs", democracy for all. Bullshit! And we hear it so often we're starting to believe it.
Were you aware on October 17, 2006 there was a public signing of 'The Military Commissions Act of 2006' which suspends Habeas Corpus?
The 'Military Commissions Act of 2006' is a violation of Article 1, Section 9 of the U. S.Constitution which states: "The privilege of the writ of habeas corpus shall not be suspended, unless when in cases of rebellion or invasion the public safety may require it." Is there an invasion? Yes! Our country has been invaded by 30 million illegal aliens, but you can rest assured that the Military Commission Act is NOT about them . . . it's about YOU!
On the same day, in private, Bush signed into law "Public Law 109-364, or the 'John Warner Defense Authorization Act of 2007' (H.R.5122) (2), which was signed by the commander in chief on October 17th, 2006, in a private Oval Office ceremony, allows the President to declare a 'public emergency' and station troops anywhere in America and take control of state-based National Guard units without the consent of the governor or local authorities, in order to 'suppress public disorder'.
If you think these two signings are no big deal then you don't understand them. Simply put, it gives the president power to evoke martial law for whatever reason he wishes. Total suspension of our Constitution. All that stuff we fought a revolution over 200 years ago will be lost in the mists of antiquity.

Here is a list of your rights as an American citizen that you will lose if the president, whoever he may be, gets a feather up his ass.

Amendment I

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

Amendment II

A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.

Amendment III

No soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.

Amendment IV

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

Amendment V

No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a grand jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the militia, when in actual service in time of war or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offense to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation.

Amendment VI

In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the state and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the assistance of counsel for his defense.

Amendment VII

In suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise reexamined in any court of the United States, than according to the rules of the common law.

Amendment VIII

Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.

Amendment IX

The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.

Amendment X

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the states, are reserved to the states respectively, or to the people.

Just a goddamned piece of paper, huh? These are your rights. If you lose them you'll never get them back.

Check this out.

http://www.stopthenorthamericanunion.com/videos/America_-_Freedom_to_Fascism.html#start

traditions

What a merry Xmas! It's my personal tradition that every December 25th I pop a bottle of cheap champagne and imbibe before sunrise as I contemplate the end of the giant consumer season and the birthday of the celebrated carpenter/philosopher known as Jesus.
This fluid didn't come from the Mumm cellars in Rheims or from Dom Perignon's monestary. It came from the J. Roget Champagne Cellars of Canandaigua, NY and cost about 4 bucks a pop. Yeah, baby! That's what I call cheap champagne. Fortunately, I know how to handle bruts such as this. A sugar cube at the bottom of a flute glass with a dash of bitters makes the most vile bubbly a tasty, mind-numbing experience. As I sat in my easy chair with crystal vessel in hand, watching the bubbles drift upward in my champagne cocktail, I realized the significance of it all.
Making a champagne cocktail out of cheap champagne is like taking a bum, bathing him and dressing him in your dad's new suit. He may look like your dad but he's still just a sweet-smelling bum. But... If the clothes make the man then adulteration makes the drink. It's not Crystal, but if I could afford such luxury I wouldn't be drinking J. Roget champagne cocktails.
Of course, man cannot live by champagne cocktails alone. Soft-boiled eggs followed by biscuits and gravy and another bottle served as the morning feast even a Methodist could love. Dinner consisted of crab legs, drawn butter, biscuits and the last of the champagne. Pighin Pinot Grigio, and Cavit Pinot Noir were drained next and my living quarters were littered with dead soldiers.
The messiah's birthday and dead soldiers as far as the eye can see. I guess there IS balance in the universe.
I'm so glad the age of Pisces is over.

it's not just a car...

Just an update on the engine thing. As promised, the car was finished by 5pm friday. I stopped by the shop on my way through town, about 4pm, to check things out and the new engine was humming along perfectly. I was impressed and even more so when I realized what these guys had to do to make it so. Intake and exhaust manifolds had to be changed as well as all the other periferal appliances and a few small parts that no one thought about. All it needed was a thermostat and hood but here was my baby, the angry car, joyfully excersizing all 100 horses in a symphony of Mopar harmony. The mechanic told me Mike, the owner, said a car will be coming in thursday morning for an engine swap and had to be finished by friday night. He said, "Are you nuts? It can't be done". The owner said, "It WILL be done". Well, he was pretty damned pleased with himself when the job was completed on time. After he took it for a test he came back and told Mike what a fun ride it was and insisted he take it for a spin, too.
Since I got this machine there have been only 5 people who had the honor of sitting behind the wheel and all of them climbed out with smiles and positive comments. Mike said it best... "Anyone can get a car but when you find one that you love ya gotta take care of it." At that point he realized why I opted for an engine swap over buying another vehicle. I guess that philosophy applies to any relationship whether it's your lover, your friend, your job, or yourself.

Saturday morning Mike called me at home to see how the car's running. When was the last time you got a call from your mechanic just to see if everything's ok?

Some valuable lessons were learned through this experience.

1. Convincing a mechanic to complete an engine swap in half the time really boosted my managerial ego.
2. These guys became better mechanics by doing, what they thought was, an impossible task by over-riding common sense with directed, positive, willpower.
3. Their customers will benefit and Mikes business will prosper because if it.
4. Relationships, whatever they may be, are pretty damned important and ya gotta take care of em.
5. The karmic implications were more widespread than I could've imagined and further reinforced my belief that I can get whatever I want.
6. At long last, I found my mechanic.

Godam, do I feel blessed!

what's with this fortune?

Long story short, I blew a head gasket in my car a few weeks ago. White smoke, erratic engine behavior and cold air coming from the heater was the tip-off, and it was obvious I wasn't getting through this winter without some major auto headaches. In our age of planned obsolescence, the majority of car owners in this country would simply scrap the car and get another, due to the cost of repair compared to book value. Well, I happen to like this particular vehicle. A '94 caravan 2.5 means fixing a head gasket isn't as easy or as cheap as it was repairing the same problem in a 318 or slant six. This fix requires removing the head and taking it to a centralized shop that specializes in magnaflux and checking the head for warp and microscopic cracks these little engines are famous for. Gone are the small shops in the rear of auto part stores that do it while you wait. Now, you need to take it to a larger shop that will keep it at least a day and up to eternity simply because they can. After the testing they determine if the head is still good, in which case you can spend a couple hundred to rebuild it, or if it's bad you can buy a remanufactured head for an average of $450. Even if I found a remanufactured head, this process could take 3 days, at the very least, with a cost of around $750. Ouch!
The yuppie garage I took it to first gave me the impression they didn't need my business because "It's the busy time of the year" and they have enough SUVs, Hunmmers, and bourgeoismobiles to keep them going with tune-ups, oil changes, tire sales, and other easy, high profit jobs to keep their sales staff in good position for bonus time.
A little bit about where I live... Rural yuppie central. Picture Green Acres with half the farms bought by the Douglas's friends, and Hooterville still has the same one-room post office and you can't get ahold of the police department until after 4pm., 'cause there ain't no crime in the valley, but town meetings are still filled with Oliver Wendell Douglas clones wanting more cops to protect their estates and better roads for their $80,000 off-road SUVs and a full-time fire department to instantly put out fires in their McMansions in the remote possibility of emulation from chestnuts roasting on open fires. And these are the major clients of the garage I took my car to for engine work. What was I thinking?
Ralph told me Chas knows a guy in Berwick who can do this kind of work without a backlog of bullshit, so I gave him a call. After discussing my options and cost we settled on a plan. I always figured rebuilding the head without rebuilding the bottom end of an engine was asking for trouble. If the engine is wearing uniformly, rebuilding half the engine will only increase the other half to go 3 times faster, and the last thing I want is to do a ring job six months from now -- and I know there's been damage because of all the water going through the cylinders, and half my oil is water. Another engine is the only fast solution and the least cost. The funny part is an engine replacement will be almost $300 less than just doing the head gasket. Go figure.
Wednesday night I got Mary to follow me to drop off my car in the dead of night and to get us home. Needless to say, the ride through town in this smoke-making machine was interesting. I had to take side streets to avoid going down the Christmas boulevard, which meant stopping at every light and stop sign in town. Just sitting at the red light at 2nd Street created a cloud so thick you couldn't see the light, let alone the cop car on the corner. By the time I got to the shop and shut off the engine I could see this undissipating mass of white the size of a city block gently floating west. I was expecting the fire department to show up.
You may be wondering what all this has to do with the title. Be patient. I'm getting to that, ok?
We decided to get some Chinese at Jumbo Buffet, and after a half dozen plates of stuff we got out fortune cookies.
I'm not sure what the odds of this is, but this was the first time I got a fortune cookie sans fortune. I mean, just a cookie without a fortune. What does this mean? Do I have no future? Did the cook spit in my food? Was that really pork I ate? When the Chinese waiter came over I asked if he was spiritual. He gave me this look like, "I'm an athiest. What do I know about spiritual?" I then told him I got no fortune in my fortune cookie and asked what he thought it meant. I guess I was expecting some sage Chinese philosophy such as no fotune means vely, vely good luck. You open to all possibilities. But in a very good English accent he said, "Would you like me to get you another cookie?" I suppose expecting all Chinese people to be philosophers would be like Chinese people expecting all Americans to be Elvis. I said, no thanks. This non-fortune is perfect. I took it as an excellent omen and expected the best in a completely unexpected way.
I called the mechanic the next morning, and he had the engine out. It was just nuts and bolts now, and I fully expect to be driving my baby before the weekend.
I guess that WAS a good fortune after all.

If I read Steinbeck in jr. high I'd be in prison by now

What does it take for you spineless lower sub-strata life forms to stand up and do something besides roll over and play dead? Huh?
I just saw the theatrical version of John Steinbeck's The Pearl and I concluded that these mexicans have alot more on the ball than you do.
These ignorant, water dwelling, primitive, social bottom feeders managed to totally beat and humilitate evil in their midst. Why can't you? Here these people are eking out a living by diving for pearls and you people go to Walmart and buy pears. Talk about pears before swine.
These ignorant half-breeds knew enough about evil to kick it out of their village, no matter how much they wanted the payola from the pearl. What are you guys doin? You're inviting it in the front door and bending over for it to inseminate your already pudrid alementary canal.
I'm not talking about everyone. Just the ones who follow the herd out each morning and back in the gate each night. The people who put up with "the way things are". Well, the way things are has turned into crap because you ARE the way things are. You've turned this world into a fat, complacent, non-thinking, fear-driven, hell hole of banality because all you want to do is go to McDonald's, buy recliners, make money and watch football on tv while you beat off to Jerry Springer. No wonder your wife thinks you're such an asshole.
What do I think you should do? How bout give up the cheetos and locate the nearest soup kitchen and go there and fill up some bowls for a change? Ya into selfish gratification? Try giving to someone else who's not aware of it. The karmic implications are huge. Ya want reward for your servitude? Ain't no better way. Ya wanna fix things? There ain't no better way than starting with YOU. Ya wanna fix the world, get off your dead ass and start doing things besides sucking your own dick, not to put too fine a point on it.
It's alimentary, Dr. Watson.

lower gas prices

Has anyone noticed the price of gasoline has been coming down lately? Does anyone know why? I can't say for sure, but I have a fairly good idea how it's come about.

For months, whenever I go to the gas station, I only get a few gallons at a time. Sure, I can buy a tankful and drive a lot longer before I fill up again, but the logic is simple. I can't buy less gas than I need, so I just buy it in smaller quantities more often. This means instead of buying 20 gallons, when I stop, I just get 3. If more people did this, which I'm sure they do, the gas stations will ultimately sell less gas and the delivery trucks will come less often. This, in turn, will cause an over-supply for the distributers. And the refineries keep refining gas, non-stop. Before long, they have too much gasoline on their hands, and have to get rid of their supply in order to take in more from the refineries. It's basic supply and demand. They have an overabundance of fuel right now so they have to lower the price to sell it.
I like to make a game of it. I fly into the gas station to get my gas. Usually, the other pumps have SUV's and other cars already pumping gas into their massive tanks. I get out and squeeze a in few drops and tear out of there like I just did a pit stop at the Indy 500, leaving the idiots, who insist on topping off their tanks, still at the pumps. Always, always, always I'm the last one in and the first one out and I'm on the road well before any of them. Ya just don't NEED that much gas. If your car gets 20 mpg you can go 60 miles before you need to look for fuel. Besides, if you fill up your tank with gas that costs $2.69 you won't be able to take advantage of gas at another that might have a much lower cost.

Ok, so ya got yourself a gas guzzling SUV. Are you so lazy you have to shell out $90 on a fill up in one shot just so you don't have to get your fat ass out of your car more than once a week? Why not spread it around? Get a few gallons at this station and a few at the next one. The results are the same but you've done something about the high gas prices by buying what you need instead of what your car can hold. And the refineries keep pumping out the gas.

I say keep thier feet to the fire and don't be fooled by the lower prices. They just want you to fill your tanks again so they can reduce their gasoline glut so they can raise the prices, and they WILL raise the prices.

If we get in the habit of only buying what we need and keep doing this, you'll see the prices drop well below $1.00 a gallon. Isn't that what we all want?

Muslims Against The World Act 3 scene II

Muslims Against The World Act 3 scene II. Pope Benedict makes his first public comments on his collosal blunder of saying out loud, what everyone else since the first Chrusade have known, that Muslims should cool it and stop being so violent. The very nerve of this pompas popastry! How dare he say such a thing! To make thier point, Muslims killed a nun in Samolia, burned a few Catholic churches, and threatened to escalate the war on Chritianity with even more violence because of the awful things the leader of the Christian world said.

What's wrong with this picture? Isn't this like telling a 2 year old to stop hitting his sister, only to see him beating her with a baseball bat because of what you said?

Let's look at this in a slightly different way. Suppose we just entered a parallel universe where the pope gave a speach saying Muslims were all a bunch of peace-loving pussies and rallied Christiondom to go out and kick some Muslim ass. Mosques burned and imams slaughtered because the peace-loving head of the Muslim world dared to say Christians were too violent.

What do you do if your 2 year old is out of control? How bout a time out and a few lessons on how to act in society?

funky crap

I was just listening to classic rock on the radio (WHLM FM 103.5) when the DJ mentioned they play all the good stuff without any crap in between. Crap? This is the very same radio station that edited "shit" from Steve Miller's "Big Ol' Jet Airliner" so it sounded like "funky "kicks" goin' down in the city."

I suppose he was correct... no crap in between. No shit, dung, excrement, turds, scat, BM, fecal waste, defecation, or a hundred other words used to describe the bodily waste we all expel each morning on our evacuation thrones of choice since man produced biological waste. Granted, the radio station didn't actually "edit" shit. They merely chose to play the edited version available at all Walmarts for the overly sensitive ears of one half of one percent of the listening public who still refer to taking a piss as going for a tinkle.

I personally think replacing shit with kicks in Miller's tune changes the whole phrase to something completely different that Miller never wanted, otherwise, he'd make it that way. Shit was the word he wanted and needed but these no talent geeks see fit to change the expression because it might offend some prude in Bumfuck, Egypt. The least they can do is use a word similar to shit. "Funky "excrement" goin' down in the city." "Funky "dung" goin' down in the city." "Funky "BM" goin' down in the city." I don't know about you, but I sure get my kicks when I take a good shit. How 'bout you?

marriage

Dear President Bush:

The Presidential Prayer Team is currently urging us to: "Pray for the President as he seeks wisdom on how to legally codify the definition of marriage. Pray that it will be according to Biblical principles. With any forces insisting on variant definitions of marriage, pray that God's Word and His standards will be honored by our government."

Any religious person believes prayer should be balanced by action. So here, in support of the Prayer Team's admirable goals, is a proposed Constitutional Amendment to codify marriage on biblical principles:

A. Marriage in the United States shall consist of a union between one man and one or more women. (Gen29:17-28; II Sam 3:2-5)

B. Marriage shall not impede a man's right to take concubines, in addition to his wife or wives. (II Sam5:13; I Kings 11:3; II Chron 11:21)

C. A marriage shall be considered valid only if the wife is a virgin. If the wife is not a virgin, she shall be executed. (Deut 22:13-21)

D. Marriage of a believer and a non-believer shall be forbidden. (Gen24:3; Num 25:1-9; Ezra 9:12; Neh10:30)

E. Since marriage is for life, neither this Constitution nor the constitution of any State, nor any state or federal law, shall be construed to permit divorce. (Deut 22:19; Mark 10:9)

F. If a married man dies without children, his brother shall marry the widow. If he refuses to marry his brother's widow or deliberately does not give her children, he shall pay a fine of one shoe. (Gen.38:6-10; Deut 25:5-10)

just clowning around

Police arrest several people in clown robbery cases.
Three women and one man were arrested Wednesday in connection with a recent string of robberies committed by a duo dubbed the "clown robbers," officials announced Thursday.


I don't know about you but the fact that crooks are getting creative again fills me with hope and restores my faith a bit. Ok, so they steal but these clowns are robbing the businesses that rob from the very poor in the form of cashing checks for 50% interest. It makes me wonder if Robin Hood was a good guy or just another forest dwelling perloiner in tights.

be positive

How to start your day with a positive attitude:

1. Create a "new folder" on your computer.
2. Name it "George W. Bush".
3. Send it to the trash.
4. Empty the trash.
5. Your computer will ask you: "Do you really want to delete "George W. Bush"?
6. Calmly answer, "Yes", and press the mouse button firmly...

more orgone stuff

The orgone enriched garden plants are doing pretty good, considering Mr. Groundhog and Mr. Deer mistook them as part of an outdoor salad bar. The kohlrabi's didn't stand a chance, but the beans are doing pretty damn good, compared to the non-orgonized plants. It got me thinking... Why not build an orgone blanket? It'll be portable, light weight, and won't take up too much space. I found a 5 lb roll of steel wool and a wool blanket and Mary and I proceeded to stitch together a small orgone blanket. We tried a few things with it but figured our opinions might be biased so I took it to work and let one of the girls use it. She has had back problems for quite some time and hasn't had a day free of pain for like, ever, so I figured she could be a good candidate. I told her to simply to fold it three times and keep it on her lap while she was working and to let me know what she felt. I refused to tell her what to look for. I didn't want my observations to taint the results. Later that morning she told me she felt very comfortable and warm. Not hot but more like a comfortable warmth. She also told me she was very surprised to be able to pick things up from the floor without any discomfort. This was coming from someone with years of chronic back problems who was considering a spinal block because the drugs weren't working well enough. I told her to take it home with her and try it out and get back to me. That was last thursday. We'll see what happens.

something to think about

It started out innocently enough.

I began to think at parties now and then, just to loosen up. Inevitably, though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker. I began to think alone -- to relax, I told myself -- but I knew it wasn't true.

Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time. I even began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and working don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself.

I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka. I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it we are doing here?"

Things weren't going so great at home either. One evening, I turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent that night at her mother's.

Soon, I had a reputation as a heavy thinker.

One day the boss called me in. He said, "Skippy, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another place to work." This gave me a lot to think about.

I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking ..."

"I know you've been thinking," she snapped, "and I want a divorce!"

"But Honey,” I said, “surely it's not that serious."

"Yes it is," she replied, her lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as college professors, and college professors don't make any money. So if you keep on thinking we won't have any money!"

"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently, but that just made her cry.

I'd had enough.

"I'm going to the library," I snarled, as I stomped out the door. I drove off, in the mood for some Nietzsche, and cranked up National Public Radio on the car stereo. I roared into the parking lot and ran up to the big glass doors ... but they didn't open. The library was closed.

To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that night.

As I sank to the ground, clawing at the unfeeling glass and whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye: "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?"

Most of you no doubt recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinker's Anonymous poster.

And that’s how I became what I am today: a recovering thinker. I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational video. Last week, it was "Porky's." Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting.

I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home. Life just seemed ... easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.

spring... aint it cool?

It's been awhile since I posted anything on here and the last few entries were lame at best. I apologize for my insincerity and lack of thought. What was I thinking to put such twatle on this thing? Anyway, it's a beautiful spring day and I just got back from checking out the garden. As I do every year, I tilled the asparagas patch but I'm not seeing anything crop up yet. I'm afraid I may have dug too deep and messed up the root structure. I'll know for sure in a few days. Right now the grass is something like 6" tall and very thick and lush. I find it interesting that the things you cultivate, care for, prune and feed are dwarfted by the plants that you ignore, like grass and weeds. What does that tell you about life? Should I feed the weeds and ignore the radishes? Well, we all know THAT'S a bad idea. Maybe I'll have a garden party and request everyone bring a shovel. Hopefully, someone will bring da ho.
I'll keep ya posted.
I also discovered coffee grounds are neutral pH, hovering around 6.8. That means the garbage taken to the gas station every time I fill up has been reduced to almost zero. The bottles and cans were always a problem. Not for me but for everyone who comes here. Ya see, I fired my garbage man a couple years ago and managed to handle my garbage in a thoughtful way. It's so simple... burnables get burned, aluminum cans get crushed and isolated, cans go to the gas station in small, easy to handle bags, food scraps feed the woodland creatures, and bottles go to the woods. I'm satisfied that in the not so distant future some prospector will stumble on my bottle dump and become wealthy overnight. Todays garbage is tomorrows treasure and I'm proud to be part of that economic chain. If I could only teach my guests to understand BEER CANS ONLY, written in large, friendly letters across the top of my trash can, means beer cans, not cigarette butts and chicken bones.
The last time Mary was here she divided some seeds in two different groups. One group was placed in the orgone accumulator, the other is the control group. We'll plant both groups in seperate rows in the garden. The idea is to see what effect orgone energy has on seeds before planting. I should have an identical group that we can totally ignore to study the effects isolation on biological systems, but I think that study has been done to death.

Here's something I thought might interest someone out there. I hate to admit it but I can't help feeling this guy could've gotten away with it if he didn't wander from his specialty.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0419062doc1.html

Do you believe this?

Truth is stranger than fiction. You can't make this stuff up.