Thursday, January 12, 2006

A new hole

Work has started on the hobbit house. The weather was perfect for digging so dig I did. I decided all that digging wasn't such a good idea for a hobbit so I got a few local 18 year old hobbit girls to help. A few dozen shovelfuls and they were complaining about sore backs, broken nails and getting all muddy. This is either going to be a very small underground hobbit house or a decent size semi-underground hobbit house. We opted for semi. Ya know, this is hard work for someone committed to less work and more play so we all went to the gas station to play pinball and think about this over some wine and cheese. Then one of the girls said her dad has a backhoe and he can dig the hole in no time. The other girls dad is a stone mason and he can do the foundation. It sounds like a good idea. The question is, will they work for free? I'll keep ya posted.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

New year, new life, new view.

A thought came to me today about new years resolutions. I don't believe in them because you're usually just setting yourself up for a fall. You know the deal. You come up with a list of resolutions like stop smoking, stop drinking, stop swearing, stop womanizing, stop doing drugs, workout 12 times a day, eat the right foods, get your nipples pierced... You pick your favorite resolution and after the ball drops you announce in fluent drunkenese your plans to become a better person by reducing the joys in your life and fly a steady course to Jack LaLanne fitness. After 2 days of cold turkey the only thing you can think of is smoking a pack of cigarettes with your favorite bottle of rum with crack whores at McDonald's.

Well, I set my sights on a different horizon this year. I decided my new years resolution is to become a hobbit. I'll go to bed late, wake up late, eat many meals throughout the day and take lots of breaks. I'll live in an underground hobbit house with round doors and a fireplace for heat and make my own cheese, wine, and bread. I'll make music, create art and play in the garden. All my hobbit friends will come around and we'll party in my hobbit hot tub with some hobbit hotties and hot toddies. When my eleventy-first birthday comes around we'll all sing and dance and shoot off fireworks while everyone drinks alcoholic beverages out of ceramic mugs.

Or would you rather work out at the gym six nights a week?