Thursday, February 28, 2008

presidential lottery 2008

Let's face it. Do we really want any of these ass clowns as leader of the free world?
Hillary is Bill in drag. Obama is a crack smoker from Chicago. Every candidate running for prez is a war-mongering asshole, spouting the same tired crap we've been hearing for years. All, that is, except for RON PAUL, who doesn't stand a snowballs chance in hell because he's not chosen by the powers that be, namely the international banking elite. I mean, Hillary is the chosen one for the New World Order because she has connections, slept with a president, will do whatever her masters say, and is a total socialist. She's also an evil, war mongering, power-hungry bitch with an agenda of her own, which is turning the whole world into a nanny state with her as Mary Poppins. And McCain... Oh God. A white haired old fool who's stock in trade is once being a prisoner and a senator for something like 20 years. He still eats his meals wearing a blindfold. He voted to censor the Internet, which is enough for anyone on here to dislike this white-haired old man. I mean, we've already had one doddering old fool for president, and look what that got us. Besides, the election is rigged. We've gone electronic with easily programmed electronic voting machines and the fix is in. No more recounts because now there isn't a paper trail. Just google electronic voting machines and judge for yourself.

Democracy is dead.

All the more reason to get going on THE PRESIDENTIAL LOTTERY!

Yes, friends. Even YOU can become president. The Presidential Lottery seems like the only way we can attain true democracy in our great country. No more agonizing over who the second worst person is to be president. Now, you and every other hard working member of our great society can participate in, and possibly become leader of the free world.

The concept is simple... Every precinct will have a giant lottery machine with a ping pong ball representing each registered voter in that precinct. A little kid, selected by winning a school essay or some such contest, will step into the lottery machine and grab one ping pong ball, representing the winning candidate for that precinct. All the winning balls will then go to the state capital for the state level drawing. Another little kid, the winner from the state school essay contest or whatever, gets to draw the state winner.

You may be asking why a little kid gets to draw the ball. Two reasons.
1. No guile.
2. Shouldn't children be involved with a participatory government too? Just because their too young to vote doesn't mean they should be left out of democracy.

Now the fun begins. We have 50 balls representing 50 voting citizens from the YOU-NITED STATES. Pure democracy in action. The show takes place in the center of our great nation... Kansas. The master of ceremonies will be non other than the comedy team of Hillary, Obama and McCain. Witty banter all around. "Barack, you misinformed Negro." "Hillary, you ignroant slut." "Oh john, go grease your wheelchair." Big laughs, the audience cheers as other show business has-beens hit center stage. Sting, Mic Jagger, and Slim Whitman will all jam to the good old depression standards like, "I Wanna be Loved by You" and "Pack up Your Troubles", followed by the Ex-Presidents Barbershop Quartet. Between acts we can have little biographies of the contestants, one of which will be the next President of these YOU-nited states.

A possible cross section of candidates includes:

Rufus P. Crabtree from Arkansas lists among his favorite activities as checking his catfish lines before breakfast and watching Orange County Choppers. Manuel "The Fist" Gomez has an enforcement business in East L.A. Julius N. Twiffle (if that IS his real name) has a successful hair salon in San Fransisco. Lakisha Tomika Jhonson from Harlem has been unemployed but welcomes the chance to make something of herself as the first African-American prez.

The ad revenue alone will be enough to balance the budget. A 40 share, at least.

After hours of high entertainment enhanced by a slew of Super Bowl level commercials the winning ball and the new president will be drawn by... you guessed it. A little kid. And that's not all for this little kid, for he or she will have his or her pick of cabinet level jobs, preferably, Secretary of State.

1st runner up will be vice president and 2nd runner up will be the presidential buddy, hanging out with the new prez, plan fishing trips to Camp David, etc.

In a recent poll that I conducted myself, 98% of the American public confirms that ANYONE can do the job as president better than a career politician and would welcome the chance to give it a try.

Face it. We've already had the worst president in history. We can't do much worse than that unless you have PMS Hillary with her finger on the button, or Barack I'll-say-anything-you-want-to-hear Obama, or John nuke-em-all McCain.

Let's let anybody else in. Even YOU.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

election 2008


Diebold Accidentally Leaks Results Of 2008 Election Early

from hell to eternity

In a recent study, 50% of Americans don't practice the religion of their fathers. Why do you suppose this is?
Is it because the Christians believe the only way you can get to heaven is to believe with your whole heart that Jesus is the son of God, was born of a virgin, died on the cross to wash clean everyone's sins, rose from the dead and levitated to heaven? What about original sin? Original sin doesn't count. The only way to get rid of original sin is to be baptized and the death and resurrection of Jesus doesn't seem to quite cut it. Apparently, the greatest deity the universe has ever known is powerless to wash away original sin and requires human assistance to get the job done.

Hitler was baptized and believed in Jesus. How come he gets a free ride to the pearly gates while every Hindu, Buddhist, Jew, Muslim, etc. on Earth are bound for Beelzebub's sauna? (I just love that name. Don't you?)

Is it possible that 50% of Americans are finally waking up to this bullshit, infantile mythology? Or is it because no one wants to wake up early on Sunday morning?

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Birds of a feather

We were discussing the Christian characteristic of turning the other cheek when Mary mentioned that cultures in the Middle East tend to be very scorpion-like, meaning, you step on my foot and I cut yours off. That got me thinking about the relationship between humans and the indigenous animals in that particular area, namely the scorpion, which thrives in abundance in that region. Of course, she was talking about Scorpio, the astrological sign, and how cultures seem to resonate to a particular sign. Perhaps Middle Eastern desert-dwellers subconsciously emulated the scorpion for its fierce ferocity, overcoming the massive size of its enemies. A scorpion sting will kill you no matter how big you are, and fits in nicely with the David and Goliath story, which still remains popular in Judeo-Christian mythology.

This got me thinking about other indigenous peoples and the creatures they cohabited with, such as the American Indians' relationship with bears, eagles, deer, wolves, etc. A bear can represent balance between work and play and hibernation during winter months with a new awakening in spring. Deer maintain their population in balance with food supplies. Eagles show how to hunt quietly and efficiently and how to stay above the common herd, and wolves teach the value of teamwork in the community. All these aspects are an encapsulation of the American Indian. and to understand these people you need to look no farther than the indigenous creatures in their area.

You can expand this concept of indigenous humans/animals to nearly every area on Earth. from the Japanese hot spring bathing monkeys to the sure-footed, 14,000-foot mountain-climbing Incan Llamas. It's as if humans, as a group, seem to emulate the characteristics of specific indigenous animals, adapting to their positive traits like a subconscious survival mechanism.

But what about indigenous city dwellers? Rats, pigeons, alley cats and dogs, and falcons inhabit most of our sky-scrapered habitats, and the indigenous people of these places emulate the characteristics of these creatures in a beautifully orchestrated social tapestry. Ratso Rizzo, stool pigeon, and Fritz the cat are only a few examples of indigenous urban human/animal relationships at the lower-class level. Bums could be considered cockroaches. The falcons that inhabit the highest part of the skyscrapers, that pinnacle pie-in-the-sky for the extreme social elite, can be inhabited only by the Rockefellers, Rothschilds, and the rest of their NWO festering ilk with Wall Street executives, bankers, and assorted financial leeches represented by sparrows.

Shit, I can write a whole book on this stuff!

Thursday, February 21, 2008

FKN NEWZ

Saturday, February 16, 2008

the junky's christmas

I just love a good Christmas story. Don't you?

Friday, February 15, 2008

net neutrality


The Death Of The Internet - The best bloopers are a click away
I posted this vid some time ago but feel it's still a very important issue because the fight is still going on. There's lots of misinformation about regulating the internet and I'm afraid most people are on the fence on this issue.

Net neutrality believes the government should make the internet a level playing field through regulation. Hands Off The Internet believes the government should stay out of the internet altogether.

On one hand you have AT&T, Verizon, and Bell South lobbyists throwing huge amounts of cash to the government to allow them to regulate the internet, and on the other, you have AT&T, Verizon, and Bell South pushing real hard to regulating it themselves through acquisition.

What a bleak prospect.

Internet 2 is under construction because the powers that be insist the internet is broken and needs improvement in order to be useful for continued business operations like faster streaming video but we all know this is bullshit as usual.
The internet works fine. The only problem is it's not giving AT&T and Bill Gates enough control and market share.

I don't know what to tell you other than keeping congresses feet to the fire to keep the internet the way it is as our last bastion of freedom without regulating it.

After all, when was the last time business or congress did anything that didn't screw everyone but themselves?

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

300 in 5 seconds

Saturday, February 02, 2008

Mitt Romney is an ass