Hillary is Bill in drag. Obama is a crack smoker from Chicago. Every candidate running for prez is a war-mongering asshole, spouting the same tired crap we've been hearing for years. All, that is, except for RON PAUL, who doesn't stand a snowballs chance in hell because he's not chosen by the powers that be, namely the international banking elite. I mean, Hillary is the chosen one for the New World Order because she has connections, slept with a president, will do whatever her masters say, and is a total socialist. She's also an evil, war mongering, power-hungry bitch with an agenda of her own, which is turning the whole world into a nanny state with her as Mary Poppins. And McCain... Oh God. A white haired old fool who's stock in trade is once being a prisoner and a senator for something like 20 years. He still eats his meals wearing a blindfold. He voted to censor the Internet, which is enough for anyone on here to dislike this white-haired old man. I mean, we've already had one doddering old fool for president, and look what that got us. Besides, the election is rigged. We've gone electronic with easily programmed electronic voting machines and the fix is in. No more recounts because now there isn't a paper trail. Just google electronic voting machines and judge for yourself. Democracy is dead.
All the more reason to get going on THE PRESIDENTIAL LOTTERY!
Yes, friends. Even YOU can become president. The Presidential Lottery seems like the only way we can attain true democracy in our great country. No more agonizing over who the second worst person is to be president. Now, you and every other hard working member of our great society can participate in, and possibly become leader of the free world.
The concept is simple... Every precinct will have a giant lottery machine with a ping pong ball representing each registered voter in that precinct. A little kid, selected by winning a school essay or some such contest, will step into the lottery machine and grab one ping pong ball, representing the winning candidate for that precinct. All the winning balls will then go to the state capital for the state level drawing. Another little kid, the winner from the state school essay contest or whatever, gets to draw the state winner.
You may be asking why a little kid gets to draw the ball. Two reasons.
1. No guile.
2. Shouldn't children be involved with a participatory government too? Just because their too young to vote doesn't mean they should be left out of democracy.
Now the fun begins. We have 50 balls representing 50 voting citizens from the YOU-NITED STATES. Pure democracy in action. The show takes place in the center of our great nation... Kansas. The master of ceremonies will be non other than the comedy team of Hillary, Obama and McCain. Witty banter all around. "Barack, you misinformed Negro." "Hillary, you ignroant slut." "Oh john, go grease your wheelchair." Big laughs, the audience cheers as other show business has-beens hit center stage. Sting, Mic Jagger, and Slim Whitman will all jam to the good old depression standards like, "I Wanna be Loved by You" and "Pack up Your Troubles", followed by the Ex-Presidents Barbershop Quartet.
Between acts we can have little biographies of the contestants, one of which will be the next President of these YOU-nited states.A possible cross section of candidates includes:
Rufus P. Crabtree from Arkansas lists among his favorite activities as checking his catfish lines before breakfast and watching Orange County Choppers. Manuel "The Fist" Gomez has an enforcement business in East L.A. Julius N. Twiffle (if that IS his real name) has a successful hair salon in San Fransisco. Lakisha Tomika Jhonson from Harlem has been unemployed but welcomes the chance to make something of herself as the first African-American prez.
The ad revenue alone will be enough to balance the budget. A 40 share, at least.
After hours of high entertainment enhanced by a slew of Super Bowl level commercials the winning ball and the new president will be drawn by... you guessed it. A little kid. And that's not all for this little kid, for he or she will have his or her pick of cabinet level jobs, preferably, Secretary of State.
1st runner up will be vice president and 2nd runner up will be the presidential buddy, hanging out with the new prez, plan fishing trips to Camp David, etc.
In a recent poll that I conducted myself, 98% of the American public confirms that ANYONE can do the job as president better than a career politician and would welcome the chance to give it a try.
Face it. We've already had the worst president in history. We can't do much worse than that unless you have PMS Hillary with her finger on the button, or Barack I'll-say-anything-you-want-to-hear Obama, or John nuke-em-all McCain.
Let's let anybody else in. Even YOU.
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