an apology

Two weeks ago the weatherman said we would have relentless rain for the weekend. Since we were going to party that Sunday I had to do something, so the Thursday before, I set up the cloudbuster to earth battery and ground water, and pointed it south to stimulate the skies to make it rain. The idea was to get the water out of the sky so the weekend would be a bit drier.
Although the weatherman said Thursday and Friday would be dry, it turned out to be non-stop rain, turning the weathermen into the biggest liars since they invented aluminum siding salesmen. The day before the party I unhooked the cloudbuster from groundwater and spun it facing north to chase away the front that was moving in.
My plan worked, and that weekend, instead of torrential downpours, we had only a few drops. Not near enough to dampen our revelry.

The problem came after the party. I forgot to move the cloudbuster. For two weeks straight, we had nothing but hazy, rainy, humid weather. Every day it was ugly, rainy, and too hot, and too cold at the same time. The whole month of June became the shittiest time of the year. Everyone complained, and all the weatherman could say was we would have more of the same for at least another week and maybe, just maybe, we might have a little sunshine next weekend, but don't hold your breath, because this crappy weather is all part of the global warming/climate change, and it's the price we pay for driving cars and flushing toilets...blah blah blah. Even the weatherman was starting to think this weather will be here to stay.

As I sat outside of work and watched the shitty clouds drift across the shitty sky, I couldn't help thinking, If I'm so full of myself that I can cure a rainy day, why can't I do something about this?

The problem was the cloudbuster was still pointing north. Maybe if I spin it around... Hell, anything is better than this!

So, I pointed it south, put the orgone shotgun in the front yard -- and a half hour later, the sky started moving. Not just moving, but barrel-assing across the sky with a heading of south-south-east. (Sorry, Philly.) The sky above all this shitty vapor was azure blue, with puffy, white clouds. It was as if the crappy, low-level shit clouds were all heading directly where my cloudbuster was pointing toward, and disappearing into blue sky.

I never saw anything like it. It was as if the sky was like one, big, toilet full of crap, and someone just flushed. As I look out my window, all I can see is blue sky and sunshine. June is back again!

The news will say the stalled, stale air was moved by a low-pressure front, pushing it south and out to sea.

I have a different theory. I believe by setting the cloudbuster to north and keeping it there, I set up my own orgone front blocking the air mass to the north. The clouds kept breaking up with no where to go, so it just fell in the form of precipitation, when the relative humidity approached 90%.

All I know is the weatherman said we would have more of the same crappy weather for the rest of the week. I'm beginning to think the weatherman is full of shit because, as you can see by this most recent pic, the skies are blue and full of sun for the first time in two weeks.

Anyway, I want to apologize to everyone in NEPA for all the crappy weather you all had to endure these past two weeks. Just because I don't care if it rains or shines is no reason to spoil everyone's outdoor plans.

Please take these words in earnest....

I'M SO SORRY.

Hey, that makes me feel so much better.
How about you?