Monday, November 19, 2007

lobby free zones

I have a solution to the Earths problems.

Every time government makes a decision or passes a bill we all get screwed. Every... single... time. I can't think of one single bill that was passed in the last 20 years that stands up for individual rights or truths but only lines the pockets of corporations, their lobbyists and the political whores that pass them.

My solution is simple... Make lobbying illegal. Where is it written a politician can accept a suitcase full of money from some fat cat to vote a bill that only enriches the fat cat and everyone else has to pay for it? Try offering money to a cop next time he pulls you over for a minor violation. It's the same thing, only bribing a politician effects everyone where bribing a cop is just a deal between you and him... and more often than not you'll find yourself in the gray bar hotel if you try it.

My solution is simple. Since every time congress does something we all get screwed, don't let them do anything anymore. They can saunter in, hang out with the other dirt bags, have a few drinks and go home and watch TV. But please, for the sake of God, don't let them pass any more laws! We have way too many laws as it is and we can't stand any more. What we need is a law reversal committee, not more people making more laws. Where does it all end? When we have to consult the government on how many squares to use when you use the bathroom?

If the politicians want to keep their cinchy jobs, let them. It will be a great relief to the people to know their congress is watching the ball game rather than dreaming up new ways to make your money theirs.

Only two conditions... 1.Make Washington DC and every state capital lobby free zones. If a politician is seen with a lobbyist, Homeland Security should be alerted and the lobbyist should be arrested and the politician should be picked up by the scruff of the neck and seat of the pants and thrown down the capital steps as a warning to all. Clean out his office, put his stuff in cardboard boxes and set them in the street. And this goes for The White House, too. There's a lot of qualified people out there who can effectively hang out with congressmen, drinking and watching TV. We'll just get a replacement before the sun goes down.

2. Don't make any more laws or pass any more bills!

Where can you find a high paying job where you can screw up consistently and vote yourself a pay raise in the middle of the night? Not outside of congress. That's why these guys should just go with the flow and not get too greedy, otherwise, down the steps with these greedy bastards.

5 comments:

Eowyn said...

My solution?

Lobbyists can be allowed to escape prosecution if, and ONLY if, they agree to become domestic servants or farm workers. There's a problem with a lack of workers who do stuff illegals do -- lobbyists would work out fine.

(Besides, we need a maid and handyman around here.)

karmasurfer said...

Are you saying you're in favor of allowing top level corporate whores and failed career politicians to perform public service for minimum wage rather than hard time in our already over-loaded prison systems?

Works for me.

Bicyclerepairman said...

The Middle ground:

Work release.

The "corporate Whores" should serve time in the slammer, but not one of those minimal security country clubs. Put them in with a hairy guy named Bruce who has a fetish for white collar criminals. They should also be made to work as farm hands, day laborers, or at jobs that even Mike Rowe wouldn't touch to pay for their 3 hots and a cot.

Eowyn said...

BRM, that absolutely works.

I think it's the ultimate win-win. Karmic justice a-go-go.

Plus -- no more of that annoying ring around the collar!

karmasurfer said...

They should be used for medical experiments and crash test dummies. Lobotomize them and force them to be Wal-Mart greeters.

We're all green nowadays, aren't we? Let's harness this energy. Hook up their testicles to electrical leads, put them on treadmills and have them power our coffeemakers.