f*cking off. all that's missing is u.

WARNING! THE FOLLOWING ARTICLE IS SPRINKLED WITH THE "F" WORD. IF THIS WORD OFFENDS YOU, MENTALLY SUBSTITUTE "SCREW" FOR THE "F" WORD AND YOU'LL BE OK.

When it comes to work, I tend to kick ass and get jobs done as fast as I can so I can have more free time at the end of the day for the important things. I used to think this was a sign of a good work ethic and it gave me a sense of pride that I was capable of performing difficult tasks by choreographing moves and cutting corners. I now realize the only reason I became so efficient at multi-tasking and preplanning was so I would have a larger block of time at the end of the day for the sole purpose of fucking off. I love my fuck-off time. It's my reason for living and my driving force as a human being. Admit it... we all fuck off at work. Some like to fuck off all day on a simple project that can be completed in an hour while some, like me, like to get it over and done with so it doesn't cut into fuck-off time at the end of the day.

In any given corporation you'll find the biggest fuck offs at the top of the food chain. These are the guys so practiced at multi-tasking, self discipline, efficiency, and getting other people to do their work that they appear to be the perfect corporate drones, capable of toiling 100 hours a week for the company's bottom line. The truth is, 90% of those 100 hours are spent talking with people on the phone, emailing friends, bullshitting, going on business trips with their golf clubs, doodling at their desks, and walking around with a clipboard filled with sketches of their new swimming pool complete with scantily clad girls. In general, fucking off.

Some people tend to lack imagination, so they fuck off when they can by talking and joking with other bottom feeders as they slowly and methodically plod along doing the simple tasks assigned to them by the slightly more imaginative company fuck-off bosses, who see this low gear work ethic as not only a company drain but cutting into their own fuck-off time and are systematically replaced by lower paid bottom feeder fuckoffs.

I realize this subject is too involved to fully examine in this format. I may have to put together a whole page just on fucking off. Stay tuned. I'll let you know when I'm done fuckin around with it.