I want my Mmmmm.......... TV

I turned on the TV this morning and I couldn't get a signal to save my life. WYOU, WBRE, and even WVIA don't seem to be broadcasting. Only WNEP managed to reach my optic nerves. I got up on my roof and examined my antenna array. Everything checks out but no signal. At first, I thought there was an atomic attack and the EMF took out the TV stations. Maybe it was a communist takeover and they got our media centers, preventing us from being alerted. What gives? I mean, has anyone else noticed this? It wasn't until I called the FCC to complain that I found out all the TV stations went digital so that everyone can now have a better picture. In fact, the government has been planning this for a long time and they even give you up to 40 bucks for a conversion box to hook up to your TV so you won't have to pay through the nose for a new digital signal. I asked the FCC how many people like me are out there who didn't get a converter box and he said about 4.2 million. Hmmmmmmm..... let's see....... 4.2 million times 40 bucks equals 168,000,000 dollars spent on just the conversion boxes, and many people didn't even get one yet.

Let me get this straight. We're in the middle of a world-wide recession, businesses are closing, people are losing their jobs, banks are going bankrupt, auto manufacturers are claiming chapter 11, there's no more money in the treasury, unemployment is at double digit figures, and the stock market is dropping faster than Suzy Rottencrotch's pretty pink panties and Uncle Sam is footing the bill to the tune of 168 million dollars for converter boxes, not to mention the billions in additional costs for this analog to digital conversion, all so we can have a better picture on our TV sets?

It's not just America but the whole world is going digital. This digital conversion seems to take first place in world priorities, eclipsing bank bailouts, home foreclosures, and the war in Iraq. Even Iceland is going digital, and they went bankrupt last month. All at great expense during the biggest economic crash in world history, just so they can enhance our viewing pleasure.

Well, that makes sense. Thank God the government's watching out for regular folks like you and me.